The First
by Tracy-Lou
Summary: Doug and Seth grow closer through their shared secret. Seth/Doug pairing. Also hints of Doug/Ethan.
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to Hollyoaks!

Summary: Doug and Seth grow closer through their shared secret. Seth/Doug pairing.

The First

Chapter One

It was a busy evening at The Dog. The wedding of the year was fast approaching and Seth was beginning to tire from hearing about it. On top of that his twin, Jason, was engulfed in his own problems and had no time for Seth's. Seth crept down the stairs, peering out into the bar. Both of his parents were there, getting on for once. Seth glanced towards the door. They wouldn't let him out this late on his own if he asked. Biting the bullet, he stealthily made his way towards the door, every now and then hiding behind a post whenever his parents turned in his direction. Reaching the door, Seth breathed a sigh of relief, zipped up his jumper, and went out into the night.

Seth found his feet carrying him towards Doug's place. He hadn't been expecting him; he answered the door in a pair of socks and a long jumper. Seth blinked several times, trying to look at Doug's face and no where else.

"Is this a bad time?" He sputtered.

Doug smiled kindly at him. "Of course not, come in"

Seth stepped through the door awkwardly, trying not to touch Doug in any way. Doug closed the door after him and crossed his arms in front of him.

"What do I owe this pleasure then?"

Seth coughed uncomfortably. "I just needed a…break" he finished lamely, his cheeks reddening.

Doug's eyebrows lifted. "From who?"

Seth collapsed onto the sofa. "Everything! This wedding, my parents acting like everything's okay when it isn't. And don't get me started on Jason-"

"Hey, it's alright" Doug said, sitting beside Seth on the sofa and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "Do you want something to eat?"

Seth looked at Doug gratefully. "If it isn't too much trouble… we didn't have time for dinner"

"Say no more" Doug said, patting Seth's leg affectionately. "Beans on toast do you?"

"Perfect" Seth agreed, grinning.

Seth glanced around Doug's flat while he busied himself in the kitchen. It was a proper lads place; Seth had often heard Riley complaining about how easy his friends had it, living alone and independently when he was stuck at home with his family. Seth glanced around at the pictures on a nearby cabinet. He knew that Leanne and Texas had moved in; he didn't really know them. He found himself wondering if Doug was with either of them.

Doug returned at that moment, holding two plates. He followed Seth's gaze to the pictures, rolling his eyes.

"Only been here two minutes and already act like they own the place" he chuckled good-naturedly.

Seth looked at him in surprise. "Do you like them living here?"

Doug shrugged. "No matter to me. Just need people to help with the rent"

Seth smiled awkwardly, cutting up his toast. "Is Ethan dating either of them? Are you?" he added the second question more quietly, his cheeks flushing.

"Ethan's off women for a while" Doug said thoughtfully. "And as for me…" Doug looked away, his expression sad.

"I'm sorry, your girlfriend she… well…" Seth stared down at his plate, his knife and fork clicking together.

"It's okay" Doug said with a small sigh. "I'm okay. Just there hasn't been anyone since… you know?"

Seth nodded morosely. "How does it feel?" he asked suddenly. "To be in love?"

Doug looked at him in surprise, his brow furrowed. "It's different for everyone, but for me, I dunno really… just like you can't get the person out of your head, you feel warm in their company" Doug smiled slightly. "You always want them to be there, you tell them everything, even if it's something mundane like a bad day. And then when they aren't there anymore…" Doug's smile faltered. "It can feel like your heart has been ripped to shreds, like you're split in two. One part of you desperately missing them, the other wishing for an out, a release from the grief" Doug shuddered a little. "I'm sorry, that was a bit too heavy wasn't it?"

"It's okay" Seth said, his voice croaky.

"It isn't, you're only a kid"

"Hey!" Seth protested. "I'm sixteen"

"Exactly" Doug said, smirking.

"That's only like three years younger than you" Seth grumbled.

"Sorry I know" Doug grinned, his good humour returning. "Do you want to watch a film or something? I rented one, thought I was gonna have to watch it on my own until you came round…"

Seth felt his insides warm considerably. "That would be brilliant"

"You sure? You don't have to go home?"

"No, I told my parents where I went" Seth lied.

Doug nodded, satisfied. They put their empty plates onto the coffee table and lay back as Doug switched the film on. Before it had even started, Doug shivered a little.

"Actually I'm barely dressed, let me just…" he walked out of the room and Seth couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. He liked hanging out with Doug; he understood him. They shared the same burden, the same secret. Often Seth would sit at home in his room, wanting to call Doug and listen to his voice, hear the reassuring tones of his accent, especially when his parents kicked off about something, or whenever Mercedes came round. Seth frowned at the thought of her. He absolutely hated her. He didn't think he had ever hated someone so much in his life.

Doug returned, halting his thoughts. He was wearing a pair of pyjama bottoms and carrying a blanket. He frowned as he looked at Seth's face.

"Are you okay? You look troubled"

"It's just the wedding…"

Doug sighed sympathetically, sitting beside Seth once more and throwing the blanket over them.

"I know it's hard but you have to do what you think is right"

"But I don't know what's right!" Seth whined, hating the way his voice sounded.

Doug put an arm around his shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. "Let's forget it just for tonight, yeah? Watch the film and try to relax"

Seth nodded, grateful for Doug's words and a way out of his problems for one night.

They watched the film together in relative silence. As the evening crept on, Seth felt his eyes grow heavy. He found himself snuggling against Doug's side, his warm body a reassuring presence. Doug sighed just a little and wrapped an arm around Seth's waist protectively. Seth opened his eyes, looking into his face. He thought that Doug would push him away, would tell him to get lost. Doug's face was so close to his own, his lips puckered and perfect. For once in his life, Seth forgot everything and let his instincts take over as he placed his lips softly against Doug's.

To his horror, Doug pulled away immediately.

"What are you doing, Seth?" He jumped up, touching his lips with his fingers.

"I, I-" Seth stuttered.

"You're sixteen!" Doug said, his eyes wide and panicked.

"So what?" Seth countered, standing his ground.

"This isn't right…" Doug looked appalled.

Seth felt his resolve leaving him. "I'll go" he said shakily, only now realising that tears were streaming down his face.

"No, Seth wait! Let's talk about this…"

But Seth was already out the door, rubbing furiously at his face with his sleeve. He passed by Ethan on his way home.

"Seth, what's wrong?"

Seth pushed past him and sprinted down the steps, almost falling on the final step. He somehow found his way home; thankfully his parents hadn't yet noticed his absence. He flung himself onto his bed and sobbed, feeling foolish and young and confused.

He had _kissed _him. What had possessed him? Seth turned his head to the side, wiping at his eyes furiously. Why him? Why did all of this have to happen to him on top of everything else? Stifling a sob, Seth listened carefully as his family entered the kitchen.

"Seth!" His mother called. "Do you want some dinner, love?"

Seth remembered the beans on toast and bit his lip to prevent further sobs escaping him.

"Not hungry!" He called out weakly, and promptly locked the door.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Seth avoided leaving the house for several days. Doug attempted to call him but Seth was forced to block the calls. It wasn't purely because he was embarrassed, but because his Mum was going mental about the upcoming wedding and kept grilling Seth on his best man speech.

Seth began to feel tense, for a different reason. Warren was hanging around a lot, shooting his Dad strange looks full of meaning. Warren knew the truth, that much was certain. Seth didn't know what to do with the information. Doug contacted him a few days before the wedding, asking to see him. Finally, Seth agreed.

When Doug approached him, Seth froze. He didn't want to talk about the other night. Not now. He made sure they kept their conversation strictly business. Doug looked as though he wanted to say more, reach out to Seth somehow, but Seth stared blankly back at him, shutting down all other forms of conversation.

Once Warren became more involved, things turned serious.

Doug and Seth had had an argument, resulting in Seth saying a few cruel things he wished he could take back. But it was all so frustrating. Doug wouldn't give up on what he believed to be right, and Seth was preoccupied with watching Doug as he talked; the way his lips moved, how his eyebrows shot up and down as they were wont to do. He desperately wanted to kiss him again, but knew somehow it wasn't the time to analyse those feelings too closely.

When the wedding day finally arrived and inevitably failed, Seth felt oddly relieved. His family were in chaos, himself included, but it also meant that he had the opportunity to slip away and find Doug and finally confront those feelings he had been hiding.

Going round to Doug's flat, Seth took a deep breath and knocked. Doug opened the door only moments later in a dressing gown, his hair in beautiful disarray. Seth froze for a moment, his lips parted in surprise.

"Is this a bad time again?" He asked gingerly. Doug stepped aside to allow him entry.

"Not at all" he said, not sounding as hospitable as last time.

Seth closed the door behind him awkwardly. He turned to look at Doug, his hands twisting in front of him. Doug crossed his arms over his chest, looking defensive.

"So?" Doug asked pointedly.

"I came to apologise" Seth said, breathing out deeply. "I was out of order"

Doug cocked his head in surprise, taking Seth in. His shoulders relaxed as he smiled. "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have called you what I did"

Seth shook his head. "It's fine"

"It isn't" Doug ran his hand through his hair. "Look, what happened before all this wedding business… I, well I overreacted"

Seth nodded, staring at the floor.

"And I mean I'm flattered, I really am…"

"I sense a but coming" Seth said, lifting his head.

"You're only-"

"Don't hold my age against me, I've been through more than most sixteen year olds have"

"I don't dispute that but-"

"But you aren't interested. It's okay, I get it"

"No, that isn't it at all!" Doug rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "I _am_interested, that's the problem"

Seth shut his mouth instinctively. Doug stepped closer.

"You're my best mates little brother, and he's going through hell right now" Doug sighed, smiling a little. "But when you kissed me, I felt something I haven't felt for a very long time"

Seth gulped visibly. "Y-you like me?"

Doug smiled slowly. "Of course I do. I just didn't realise how much until the other night and then with all this wedding business-"

As if on cue, there was a loud knock on the door. Seth flinched, grasping Doug's arm involuntarily.

"It's okay" Doug whispered. "It's probably Ethan forgotten his keys again" He didn't sound so sure himself. He walked slowly towards the door, Seth two steps behind him. "Who is it?" he called out.

"Santa Claus" came the sarcastic response.

Seth clung onto Doug's arm tighter. "It's Warren" he said fearfully.

"Got it in one, Costello. Now if you don't let me in, Dougie boy there's gonna be trouble" Warren warned.

Doug moved to open the door but Seth pulled him back. "Are you crazy? The man's a psycho!" Seth whispered fervently.

"I haven't got a choice, Seth" Doug sighed, straightening himself to his full height before unlocking the door. Warren barged in immediately like a bulldog on heat.

"Well this is cosy" he said, taking in the two of them. Seth let go of Doug's arm.

"We don't want any trouble, Warren" Doug said reasonably.

"No trouble, eh? So why did you come to the wedding guns blazing?" Warren's eyes were wild and crazed.

"We've been over that already" Doug said, absentmindedly rubbing his stomach. Seth's eyes were drawn there, wondering.

Warren took a few steps closer. "Have we now? I seem to recall Mitzeee interrupting us"

"And she isn't going to be pleased knowing you came back for me" Doug said pointedly. "What's the matter, Warren? You look like you've had some bad news"

Seth's eyes widened. What was Doug _doing?_Why was he goading him like that?

To Seth's relief, Warren merely laughed. "As a matter of fact I was visiting the man who murdered your girlfriend. Remember him? Brendan Brady"

Seth glanced at Doug; he had gone as white as a sheet. "I remember him" he said quietly.

"Good" Warren said, grinning in satisfaction. "Then you know what blokes like him and me are capable of"

"You aren't like him" Doug said, gathering his courage once more. "You're a mindless, abusive bully with nothing better to do than terrorise young men"

Warren laughed manically. "Oh you have no idea, boy-"

"What on earth is going on?" Ethan had arrived, glancing between the three of them in horror.

"Ah, Mr Scott!" Warren said joyfully. "Don't mind me, I was just leaving. Remember Doug, and you Seth, I'll be watching ya" Warren winked at them before striding out of the flat. Ethan stared after him.

"What was that all about?"

"It's nothing" Doug said, relaxing.

"It didn't look like nothing!" Ethan pressed. "Do you want me to call it through?"

"And what will that do? He'll just deny it, like they always do. It's not as though there's any justice in the world" Doug, looking upset, stormed out of the room.

Seth stared after him, unsure what he should do. "Should I go after him?"

"You're alright, mate I'll check on him" Ethan clapped him absently on the shoulder, walking towards the stairs. "Did you need anything by the way?" He asked, turning back.

"No, it's fine" Seth said morosely. "I'll see myself out. Tell Doug I hope he's okay"

"Will do" Ethan said, smiling.

xxx

Doug lay with his face in the pillow, breathing agitatedly through his nose. He heard someone creep into his room.

"Seth?" He asked instinctively.

"It's just me" Ethan said, coming to sit on the edge of Doug's bed. Doug sat up, curling himself up into a ball, his knees against his chest. "What was Seth doing here anyway?"

"Oh he was just seeing if I was okay" Doug said. "You know, after the wedding"

"Did something happen at the wedding?" Ethan asked sharply.

"What? You were there, disaster and all that…"

"Yeah but that was Seth's family. Why would he be coming to check on you? And why has Warren Fox got it in for you?"

"Ethan please-" Doug said, shifting his body a little. He winced as his knee knocked his stomach.

"What is it?" Ethan said sharply, leaning over. "Are you hurt?"

"No I'm fine-"

"You aren't!" Ethan said, pulling up Doug's t-shirt to reveal the ugly bruise that had formed there. "Who did this?" He asked angrily.

"No one. I knocked into my bed-"

"Bullshit!" Ethan stormed, rising to his feet. Doug was astonished, Ethan rarely swore.

"Ethan, calm down"

"Who's hurting you? Why are you covering for them?"

"I'm not, I-"

"Tell me the truth, Doug"

Doug sighed, relenting. "It was Warren"

Ethan cursed again, chewing his fingernail in agitation. "We can get him for this, GBH…"

"No!" Doug protested, wincing once more as he stood from the bed. "That'll just make things worse!"

"How exactly?" Ethan questioned. "Blokes like him get away with too much! You have to report this"

"I don't have to do anything" Doug said, shaking his head.

"Look" Ethan said, his voice gentler. "You're my friend; I'm just looking out for you. Forget I'm a cop a minute, don't you think I'm advising you right here?"

"I don't know…" Doug said uncertainly.

Ethan brought his phone out of his pocket. "It'll only take a minute. I'll call it in and then we can go down to the police station to make a statement"

Doug teetered on the edge of uncertainty.

xxx

Seth walked down the steps from Doug's flat, zipping up his hoodie. He was worried about Doug; hearing Warren speak about Rebecca and Brendan had obviously unsettled him. He desperately wanted to go back, speak to him more. There was so much that still needed to be said and more than that, he wanted to comfort him. Seth turned on his heel, ready to return when he careened into someone.

About to voice an apology, he was suddenly interrupted.

"Going somewhere, Seth?" Warren sneered.


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

"I need more time to think" Doug said resolutely.

Ethan sighed in exasperation. "How much more incentive do you need? When he puts you in hospital?"

Doug winced, biting his lip. "Thanks a lot"

"No, I'm only saying-"

"Well don't" Doug said shortly, running his hand through his hair. "I'm going to find Seth; I need to speak to him"

"What about?" Ethan asked, looking confused.

"None of your concern" Doug said coldly, striding past him.

"Oh come on, Doug. You are my concern!" Ethan called after him.

Doug sped down the steps. He might be able to catch Seth before he arrived home. Stopping suddenly and feeling Ethan barrel into the back of him, Doug took in the sight before him.

"Warren" he growled, striding forwards to place himself between Warren and Seth.

"Oh, Doug! Nice of you to join us" Warren said, grinning.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Doug whispered frantically to Seth, turning to search for any injuries.

"No he didn't, I'm okay" Seth said reassuringly.

"Warren Fox" Ethan said with great satisfaction. "Trip to the station do you?"

"What for, detective? We were just talking"

"That's not what Doug told me"

"Oh yeah?" Warren said, glaring at Doug. "And what did he tell you?"

"Nothing" Doug said, taking hold of Seth's arm. "Look, I won't go to the police if you just leave us alone, alright?"

"Doug!" Ethan protested, his mouth gaping open.

"Ethan, leave it" Doug said sharply. "We got a deal?" Doug addressed Warren.

Warren pretended to consider it. "Alright" he finally said. "I've got bigger fish to fry anyway" he winked at Doug, ruffling his hair. "See you around"

Once he was out of earshot, Ethan rounded on Doug.

"What are you playing at? We could have had him!"

"Yeah and maybe he'd have been sent down for a while and then when he got out…" Doug said, his jaw set. "I'm sorry Ethan but I just don't have much faith in the system. And people like Warren don't forget easily"

"I could have protected you!" Ethan argued.

"No, you can't" Doug said softly. "Can we leave it now? I need to walk Seth home"

"I don't need-" Seth began.

"You do" Doug interrupted. "Come on"

Doug steered Seth away, leaving Ethan behind. He dropped his hold on Seth's arm when he realised he was still holding it and walked swiftly on. Seth grumbled from beside him.

"Bit harsh on Ethan weren't you?"

"No" Doug said. "He'll understand later"

"I dunno…"

"Seth, can we not?"

"Are you alright?"

"I've been better" Doug said shakily.

"Let's stop a minute. Get something to drink" Seth offered.

Doug sighed. "Alright. The Dog? Oh" he said, suddenly remembering. "Perhaps not"

Seth frowned. "Why not? I haven't got anything to hide"

"Well, okay" Doug said, relenting.

Thankfully Jacqui was the one serving. Doug ordered a cider for himself and a Coke for Seth. Seth looked like he was about to argue but Doug silenced him.

"If your parents see me letting you drink-"

"Fine, whatever"

They sat near the bar, sipping quietly on their drinks. Seth kept glancing at Doug but not saying anything. He seemed frustrated about something. Doug suddenly felt a hand under the table grab his own. Doug turned to Seth, speechless, but Seth stared resolutely back at him, squeezing his hand.

"There you are, Seth!" Heidi came over to the table. Seth dropped Doug's hand. "And Doug" Heidi said in confusion.

"Hi" Doug said, feeling foolish. He curled his hands together beneath the table, acutely feeling the loss of Seth's.

"Are you coming upstairs?" Heidi asked quietly.

"In a minute" Seth said defiantly.

"Your family needs you right now…"

"Oh do they now? And what about what I need?"

"Seth" Doug warned quietly.

"No! Why can't I have anything for myself? Why does everything have to revolve around the rest of you?" He stood up, glaring at Heidi.

"This family has had enough grief without you making a show of yourself" Heidi hissed. "Now get upstairs"

"No!"

"I'll come by later…" Doug whispered, picking up his jacket.

"No, don't go" Seth pleaded, looking at Doug sadly.

"No Doug I think you'd better go; I need a word with my son" Heidi said sternly.

"I'll call first" Doug whispered, patting Seth lightly on the shoulder before leaving them to it.

xxx

Ethan wasn't at home when Doug returned. The girls were out as well, leaving Doug with the flat to himself for a change. He watched television for a while, idly flicking between channels. He spent the remainder of the day cleaning the flat, just for the sake of having something to do. Seth didn't contact him but Doug suspected his phone had been confiscated. He was wary to call him as promised in case his parents became suspicious. It wasn't as though Doug was ashamed, but he knew that the Costello family had enough going on without him taking an interest in their son. Besides that, Doug wanted to be the one to explain things to Riley if anything happened between him and Seth, more than it had already anyway.

Ethan text him that evening, telling him not to wait up. Sighing, Doug decided to get an early night. Leanne and Texas had invited him out for a drink but he wasn't really in the mood for it.

Slipping beneath the covers, Doug turned out the light. He had only just relaxed and shut his eyes when he heard an insistent knocking on the door. Groaning, he climbed out of bed and padded down the stairs.

"Seth" Doug said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"My family are doing my head in" Seth said. "Can I come in?"

"Sure" Doug stepped aside.

"I didn't wake you did I?"

"Oh no, I was just about to go to bed" Doug said. "Do you want something? A drink?"

"No I'm okay, thank you" Seth said, suddenly looking nervous. "Do you want to go upstairs?"

"Seth!"

"Not like that…just to sleep"

"Seth…" Doug sighed. "You can't sleep here, what will your parents think?"

"I don't care" Seth grumbled.

"You should" Doug said. "Do they even know you've left the house?"

"No…" Seth said awkwardly, shuffling from foot to foot. "Please? Just for tonight. If it makes you feel better I'll text Jason and tell him to cover"

"_Seth_"

Seth looked at him, his eyes wide. Doug felt himself giving in.

"Fine. Just for tonight, and text your brother, alright?"

Seth grinned triumphantly. "Thank you!"

xxx

Doug only had a single bed. He offered for Seth to take it and he would sleep on the floor or the sofa downstairs but Seth was having none of it.

"Come on, Doug" Seth said, hovering on the edge of the bed. "It's okay"

Doug crawled beneath the covers, feeling a little strange. Seth climbed in after him, their limbs at odd angles so that they would both fit.

"See? Not so bad" Seth whispered, bringing their noses together.

"Yeah" Doug breathed, turning out the light once more. "I guess you're right"

It was only when Seth snuggled against Doug's chest and wrapped his arm around his waist did Doug realise he had a problem. He was really beginning to like Seth and it was undoubtedly going to be complicated. Feeling Seth move closer against him however made Doug smile and realise that it would all be worth it.


	4. Chapter Four

Chapter Four

The next morning Doug awoke with his arms wrapped around Seth from behind, his nose nuzzled into Seth's blonde hair. It was strange but Doug felt more content than he had in months, holding Seth securely against him. He knew that Seth was still young and had a lot to learn about the world, but then was Doug really that much more informed?

He was beginning to accept that he couldn't ignore the pull between them. It would be difficult, telling people the truth, but ultimately worth it.

"Seth?" Doug whispered close to Seth's ear. "Are you awake?"

Seth grumbled in response, burying himself deeper beneath the covers.

"Come on, it's morning" Doug pressed.

"How early?" Seth asked, barely coherent.

Doug glanced at his clock. "Eight"

Seth groaned and pulled the cover over his head. "Far too early"

"Seth…"

Seth turned in the bed, wrapping his arms around Doug's waist and resting his head against his chest. "I want to stay with you"

Doug sighed, holding Seth against him. "You can't. You have College"

"I don't care" Seth groaned, holding on tighter.

"I do" Doug insisted. He kissed the top of Seth's head. "I'll even walk you there, how's that sound?"

Seth raised his head from Doug's chest, looking into his face. "Thanks. I'd like that"

"Come on, let's get ready then"

It took a further ten minutes to get Seth out of bed but once he was Doug made him some breakfast and gave him a towel for a shower.

"Uh I don't have any clothes" Seth commented, blushing a little.

"Oh! Yes, right. Um, you can borrow something of mine?"

Doug laid out a pair of jeans, a white t-shirt and one of his warmest jumpers on the bed for Seth. He emerged from the shower dripping wet, his blonde hair plastered to his forehead.

"Uh…" Doug began, a little lost for words. "Clothes" he blurted out, gesturing to the items on the bed. "For you"

"Thanks" Seth said, smiling knowingly.

Doug hovered for a minute. "Oh! I'll give you some privacy"

"It's alright" Seth shrugged, dropping his towel unceremoniously. "I'm not ashamed"

"Seth!" Doug turned away, his hand over his face. "I'll never be able to look Riley in the eye again"

Seth laughed. "Don't worry about him. Come on, it's alright"

Doug felt a pair of hands peel the hand away from his eyes. He opened his eyes slowly, trying to focus on Seth's face rather than the rest of him. He was so close right now, his breath ghosting across Doug's lips.

"Alright now?" Seth asked, his voice low and husky. Doug found it absurd that he was taller than him.

Doug nodded, unable to prise his eyes away from Seth's lips. "Mm. Never better"

"Doug…" Seth breathed, inching closer. "Can I just…" Before waiting for a response, Seth pressed his lips against Doug's. It was slow and tender at first; Doug especially was feeling tentative. But as the kiss deepened, Doug found himself throwing caution to the wind and simply grabbing Seth, kissing him hungrily. Seth was a remarkable kisser; all soft and yielding at the right times and yet he knew when to take initiative.

The kiss broke abruptly, the two of them panting and staring at each other with wide eyes. There was certainly no turning back for either of them. They had really begun something now.

Seth dressed quickly after that, flashing Doug the odd smile as he did so. Doug was extremely flustered, hardly knowing what to do with himself. He was almost relieved when Seth was fully dressed. The jumper in particular calmed Doug down a little.

"Shall we go?" Doug offered, putting on his coat.

"Sure" Seth answered, moving towards the door.

They stepped out into the village, feeling the chill air against their faces as they walked. Seth moved inexorably closer to Doug in an attempt to steal his body heat. Eventually he linked arms with him, smiling shyly at Doug when he turned to look at him.

"This is nice" Seth commented, staring up at the sky. "I feel so…calm with you, not like I do at home"

Doug sighed. "It will get better, promise"

"I hope so…" Seth said, staring thoughtfully ahead. "Oh no…" he exclaimed, attempting to hide behind Doug.

"What?" Doug asked, glancing around them.

"It's Riley. He looks mad"

"Why should he?" Doug asked in confusion.

"Uh…"

"Seth! There you are! Where have you been all night? Mum's been doing her nut"

Doug glared at Seth.

"I texted Jase…"

"And you think that's good enough?" Riley raged. "What's gotten into you?"

"You lot are doing my head in!" Seth said, his face reddening in anger.

"Seth…" Doug warned quietly. Riley turned to look at him as though only just noticing his presence.

"Why is he with you?" Riley asked, confused.

"He stayed with me last night" Doug replied, opting for the truth. Riley's eyebrows shot up. "On my sofa" Doug finished, feeling ashamed. "I thought he had told you guys, I'm sorry"

"It's not your fault" Riley reassured him.

"Oh great so it's mine then?" Seth protested.

"Seth, come on-"

"No, Riley! I was having a good morning and you've ruined it now, thanks" Seth shoved past Riley angrily, stalking away.

Doug stared hopelessly after him. "I'll go after him, you get on" he said quietly.

"Thanks, mate" Riley said, patting his shoulder. "I don't know what's gotten into him lately"

"It's just a lot for him to take" Doug explained. "He's confused I think, and a bit lost"

"Aren't we all though?" Riley sighed. "Alright, I'll get off. Thanks again"

"No trouble" Doug said, feeling guilty for some reason. "I'll see you later"

"Yeah, see you"

Doug immediately jogged after Seth. "Seth, wait up!" Doug called, finally catching up to him. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Seth was wiping angrily at his eyes. "I'm so sick of it, I just want to go away and hide somewhere" he sniffed.

"Come on" Doug said, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "Let's go talk somewhere a minute, okay?"

Seth nodded, allowing Doug to lead him towards the skate park. They sat down beside each other, their knees touching noticeably.

"You can't keep doing this" Doug said after a few moments of silence.

"What?"

"Getting angry all the time"

Seth laughed humourlessly. "I'm just so frustrated with everything. My family's a complete mess. I just want to be alone, is that too much to ask?"

"No of course not" Doug said sympathetically. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" Seth exclaimed, his voice cracking with emotion. "I like you being here, you have no idea how much you've helped me"

"I haven't done anything…" Doug said modestly.

"You have" Seth said, tear tracks visible on his cheeks. "So much" he leaned forwards, pressing his lips against Doug's softly.

"Seth" Doug groaned against his lips. "We shouldn't-"

"No you really shouldn't"

Doug and Seth sprung apart simultaneously. Ethan was standing in front of them, frowning.

"Someone fancy telling me what's going on?"


	5. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

Doug stared at Ethan, dumbfounded.

"W-what are you doing here?" He stammered, standing up.

"What am I doing here? What are _you_doing here?"

Doug glanced back at Seth who was looking at him with wide eyes. "Seth's been having a hard time of it lately, you know that…"

Ethan raised his eyebrows.

"And he just needed a mate-"

"A _mate?_You were…" Ethan trailed off frowning. "_Kissing_" he whispered edgily.

"It's not a dirty word" Seth piped up from behind them, frowning in annoyance at Ethan.

"I know that, Seth" Ethan said plainly, still staring at Doug. "What were you thinking? He's sixteen!"

"I'm mature for my age!" Seth argued, standing beside Doug.

"Seth, can you go home or something? I need to speak to Doug"

"Ethan, don't be rude" Doug said quietly. Seth stood glaring at Ethan, his arms crossed. "Seth" Doug addressed him. "You might as well get to college; I'll speak to you later, alright?"

Seth pouted a little, clearly put out that he was being told to leave. "Doug-"

"Please?"

Seth rolled his eyes and nodded. "I'll catch you later"

Once he was out of earshot, Ethan rounded on him again.

"What the hell are you playing at, Doug?"

"Listen, what I do with my private life is none of your business" Doug hissed. "Seth's of age, there's nothing wrong with what we're doing. Unless you have an issue with his gender" Doug raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"No! Of course not" Doug noticed that Ethan was blushing. "But he's so young, Doug…"

"So was Liberty when you got with her" Doug pointed out. "Did it change the way you felt?"

"Well no-"

"There you are then" Doug said, satisfied.

"But how do you feel?" Ethan pressed.

Doug smiled slightly. "I like him a lot"

"Is that enough? What will Riley say?"

"Are you going to tell him?"

Ethan looked at him, horrified. "Of course not. I'm still your mate"

"Thank you" Doug said. "Are we done now?"

"Well-" Ethan looked reluctant to let him leave. "Can we talk more later after work?"

"What else is there to say?"

"Please, Doug"

"I'll see what I can do. Seth will probably want to meet up though"

Ethan rolled his eyes. "Text me, yeah?"

"Alright" Doug replied.

Doug breathed out a sigh of relief as Ethan walked away. He hadn't expected for people to find out yet. It was all so new right now, he wasn't sure if he was ready for the exposure. He knew Ethan wouldn't tell anyone but it bothered him that his friend was already disapproving of their relationship. It couldn't only be about Seth's age, it wasn't as though Ethan hadn't been in the same position himself. There was definitely more to it and Doug wanted to know what.

xxx

Ethan was distracted all day at work. He was mainly doing paperwork; it had been a slow day. He checked his phone often to see whether Doug had texted him but there was still nothing. Ethan had a strange weight in his chest at the thought of Doug with Seth and he couldn't work out why. It wasn't as though his own morality was exemplary. Perhaps he was just worried for Doug and how this relationship might affect him and his friendship with Riley.

Ethan wasn't even sure what Doug saw in Seth. He was a teenager with a lot of problems and Doug had only just turned his life around, Ethan didn't want him dragged into any more trouble. He just wanted to speak to him more about it, try and understand where Doug's head was at the moment. Ethan glanced at his phone again, frustrated. He was going to end up calling him at this rate; it was his lunch hour soon.

Doug didn't even answer his phone when he did call. Ethan left him a message, asking him to call him within the hour or leave him a message. He didn't know why he was becoming so invested in this; he had enough on his plate right now. Even so, when he reached the end of the day and Doug still hadn't called, Ethan drove straight home, agitated and upset.

When he walked through the door, Ethan suddenly understood why Doug hadn't called him. He and Seth were curled up on the sofa, watching a film. It was entirely innocent but something about the way their bodies were entwined underneath the blanket made Ethan flush with anger. He bit down on his lip to stop himself from saying anything and made sure he created enough noise as he moved to the kitchen to distract them.

"Oh, Ethan!" Doug exclaimed, looking up. "Wasn't expecting you home so early"

"Yeah well, I didn't fancy staying for the overtime" Ethan said sourly. "You two certainly look cosy"

Doug blushed. "Seth came straight round after College, bit of a rough day" Seth smiled at Doug warmly.

"You didn't call me back" Ethan blurted out, hating how pathetic he sounded.

"You called?" Doug grabbed his phone, frowning at the screen. "Sorry, mate I didn't realise"

Ethan shrugged. "No bother. I'll just go take a shower"

Doug smiled, turning his attention back to Seth. As Ethan walked past, Seth laid his head against Doug's shoulder, closing his eyes contently. Ethan felt like he was mocking him somehow. He didn't know what was coming over him but he felt a strange sense of loss. He and Doug had become really close lately, spending most of their evenings in together. Neither of them fancied going out much, Doug in particular. It felt like Ethan had lost out to Seth, that he was going to be the one taking all of Doug's attention.

Normally when Ethan came home from work Doug would be there; perhaps with the takeaway menu out and ready and a cider for him to take the edge off after a long day at work. Now Ethan had to come home and feel uncomfortable in his own place. He turned on the shower with a sigh, thinking that perhaps he would call Riley and ask if he wanted to go out somewhere, anything to get away for the evening. Ethan hadn't expected it to bother him this much; granted he never expected to see what he did this morning between them. He almost wished he hadn't.

xxx

"Is Ethan alright?" Seth asked, lifting his head from Doug's chest.

"Yeah of course he is" Doug said breezily. "Hey, do you want another drink?"

"Can I have what you're having?" Seth's eyes lit up.

"No" Doug said shortly. "Just soft drinks for you"

Seth rolled his eyes. "Alright. I'll get it though"

Doug nodded, turning his attention back to the film.

Seth walked to the kitchen, looking for glasses. His phone began to buzz, making him curse.

"Phone's ringing" Doug said unhelpfully.

"Got it" Seth said, answering his phone. "Mum" he greeted.

"Seth where are you? Dinner's almost ready"

"I'll be home soon" Seth replied quietly.

"Well hurry up"

"Alright" Seth sighed, hanging up. He looked over at Doug. "I have to get going, Mum wants me"

Doug stood up, pausing the film. "That's a shame"

"I know…but can I come by again tomorrow?" Seth asked hopefully.

"You'd better" Doug said, grinning slyly. "Come here then"

Seth walked towards him eagerly, wrapping his arms around Doug's small body. Their noses brushed together as they breathed each other in. Seth pressed his lips firmly against Doug's, wanting to leave him something to remember him by. Seth wasn't particularly experienced but he knew Doug was. He felt Doug respond, his tongue sweeping out to explore Seth's mouth. Seth could feel tingles throughout his entire body, right down to his toes. Doug might not look like much to most people but to Seth he was incredible. He seemed to know all the right places to touch; in this case the small of Seth's back, his hands firm but gentle as he rubbed soothing circles into him.

Seth breathed out happily as Doug pulled away. "Definitely come by tomorrow" Doug sighed, his face flushed. Seth felt a knot in the pit of his stomach that hadn't been there before. He could feel something hard pressed against his leg and the realisation of what it was almost made him lose it.

"Promise" he whispered, Doug's flushed face taking on a new meaning. He was almost tempted to stay but he knew he couldn't. It wasn't the right time yet, Seth didn't feel ready.

Doug pulled away from him reluctantly, seeing him to the door. Doug stood on his toes to kiss Seth goodbye. It was highly amusing that Doug was older and yet smaller than Seth. It wasn't the time to tease him for it however. Seth gave him a final longing look and departed, feeling his entire body release with tension as he stepped outside.


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Doug turned away from the door with a smile. Things were going really well with Seth, despite the complications. Doug was the happiest he had been in months. He finally felt as though he had some purpose in life, a reason to climb out of bed in the morning with a huge grin on his face. It was still early days but something just felt right. Doug was the kind of person who knew immediately when someone would be special in his life; whether romantically or as friends.

Ethan came down the stairs, breaking Doug from his thoughts. Doug smiled warmly at him, feeling more than a little accommodating. Ethan smiled back at him, perplexed but seemingly pleased.

"What you doing?" He asked, glancing around the living room. "Where's Seth?"

"He had to go home" Doug replied with a sigh. "Right in the middle of the film"

Ethan looked towards the television. "I'll finish it with you, if you want"

Doug stared at Ethan's clothes. "Aren't you going out?"

Ethan looked away awkwardly. "I don't much fancy it, rather stay in to be honest"

"I know that feeling" Doug replied, practically throwing himself onto the sofa. Ethan sat beside him hesitantly, several feet away. Doug looked at him in amusement. "I won't bite you know, come on" Doug offered the other side of the blanket to him. The winter weather was certainly creeping in.

They settled down to watch the film. As the evening began to draw on they ordered pizza and had a few beers before Doug let Ethan choose another film for them to watch. By this point Doug was getting tired and adding to the lateness of the hour and the warmth of the blanket, and to an extent Ethan being so warm and close beside him, Doug started to drift to sleep.

He awoke sometime later, feeling decidedly groggy. He could only have slept for a few hours at least. There was a strange pressure on the top of his head that he couldn't place. Rising to a sitting position, Doug realised that Ethan's hand was tangled in his hair. Frowning, Doug carefully placed his hand at the side of his body where he was still peacefully sleeping.

Looking down at where he had risen, Doug was alarmed that he was looking into Ethan's lap. Flushing for no one to see, Doug hastily unengaged himself from the blanket and wrapped it tighter around Ethan's still sleeping form. He crept up the stairs to his own bedroom, noticing how light it was outside and realising he had slept longer than he had originally thought.

Doug crawled into bed, wrapping his duvet over his head. He was mortified. He must have fallen asleep against Ethan. It wouldn't have been so bad if his head hadn't been in his _lap._What must Ethan think of him? Groaning into the softness of his pillow, Doug attempted to get a few more hours sleep. He awoke once more to a gentle tapping at his bedroom door.

"Come in" he grumbled.

"Doug?" Ethan asked tentatively. "I brought you a coffee"

Doug's eyes snapped open. "Oh thanks. Just leave it on the side" Doug's voice was unnaturally high.

He heard the coffee mug set down beside his bed. Blissfully waiting for Ethan's footsteps out of the door, Doug was sorely disappointed when he felt a weight on his bed.

"Can we talk?" Ethan asked quietly.

Sighing, Doug pulled his duvet off of his head. "About what?"

"Last night…"

Doug coughed uncomfortably, sitting up in bed. "Nothing happened last night"

"Didn't it?" Ethan looked at Doug with wide eyes.

"All I remember is falling asleep…" Doug said carefully. "And then I woke up-"

"And?" Ethan pressed.

Doug blushed visibly. "I'm sorry I fell asleep on you, it wasn't intentional"

Ethan looked away, his face unreadable. Doug searched his face. "Was there something else? I was a bit tipsy wasn't I?"

"Yeah…" Ethan said vaguely.

"Oh, God I didn't say anything embarrassing, did I?" Doug buried his face in his hands. "You know how I get, Ethan. And I was really tired"

Ethan smiled weakly at him. "You didn't say anything embarrassing, don't panic"

"Oh" Doug said, breathing a sigh of relief. He looked at Ethan happily. "So we're cool then?"

"Of course" Ethan said, still looking uncomfortable. "Do you want some breakfast?"

"Thanks but I was gonna meet Seth this morning"

"Right" Ethan said, standing up. "I'll see you after work then"

"You bet" Doug grinned.

xxx

Ethan closed the door behind him, rubbing his hands over his face in dismay. Doug didn't remember what he said. But then how could he? Ethan recalled the events of last night…

Doug had drunk a little more than Ethan and had insisted he choose the next film for them to watch.

"Something funny" he had slurred, grinning.

"Alright" Ethan said, leaning forwards to look through their DVD's. Doug had grabbed him round the waist, making Ethan freeze.

"You might fall off" Doug said reasonably.

Ethan hastily put a DVD in the player and leaned back against the sofa. Doug's eyelids were beginning to droop.

"Ethan" Doug began purposefully.

"Yes, Doug?"

"You know you're my best friend don't you?"

Ethan smiled. "Course. And you're mine"

"I love you" Doug said, smiling widely. "I do you know"

Ethan was surprised momentarily at how those words affected him. "Um-"

"Don't be embarrassed. Just because I like men, sorry I didn't tell you that before" Doug said, frowning a little.

"Have you always liked men then?" Ethan asked cautiously.

Doug frowned. "I don't know really. I guess so. I kind of just look at the person and if I like them…" Doug grinned suddenly. "I think I fancied you, when I first met you. In a purely shallow way"

Ethan's eyes widened. "W-what?"

"Oh, don't panic!" Doug said, slapping his arm playfully. "We're mates, right? And Seth, ahh Seth…"

"Doug, you're drunk"

"And sleepy" Doug started to snuggle against Ethan's side.

"Doug-" Ethan warned.

"Just going to shut my eyes a minute…" Doug said, falling promptly asleep. Somehow he managed to collapse onto Ethan's lap in the process.

Ethan sat there awkwardly for a moment, his hands hovering above him. There was no waking him now and Ethan found that he didn't want to. Doug snuffled a little in his sleep, twitching like a puppy. Ethan put his hand down on Doug's hair and that seemed to quieten him. It was a nice, warm feeling having another body asleep on him. He felt useful for once.

Ethan felt his own eyes closing but not before he heard Doug's parting words in sleep.

"Mmm, Ethan…"


	7. Chapter Seven

A/N: Just in case people get a little confused, this story is a bit behind with the show, for example Silas hasn't been caught yet.

Chapter Seven

A few days passed by uneventfully. There was still a great deal of tension at home but Seth was beginning to see past it. For the first time in his life, Seth felt wanted and happy. It wasn't as though he didn't appreciate his family but it was something different with Doug. He wanted him in a way no one else possibly could. He not only looked after Seth but he treated him as an adult, an equal. Seth felt himself growing into a man; helped along by all of the conflict he had faced the last few months in his home life.

Doug made Seth feel good about himself; made him feel as though he could accomplish anything. Jason had started to become suspicious; he covered for Seth a great deal when he snuck out to see Doug. He wasn't quite ready to tell him the truth yet; he knew Jason would somehow take offence, maybe even be resentful that Seth was leading the life that Jason desperately wanted.

For now only Ethan needed to know. Seth wasn't sure how he felt about that. Ethan was alright, for the most part, but Seth could tell that he disliked him immensely. He had always looked down on him as Riley's little brother but it had never gone this far. It was almost as though Ethan wanted Seth out of the way, and Seth was clueless as to why.

Seth was walking through the village after College when he spotted Doug up ahead. He made to run up to him but stopped when he realised he wasn't alone. Lynsey walked away hurriedly, looking distressed. Doug stared after her, biting his lower lip in concern. Seth frowned, taking a few tentative steps forward. Ethan appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, touching Doug's arm in concern.

Doug shook him off, turning his face away and walking in Seth's direction. His eyes lit up as he saw him, or at least Seth liked to think so.

"Seth. How are you?"

"Fine" Seth said, staring behind him at Ethan, who was giving them a contemplative look. "Was he bothering you?"

Doug glanced behind at Ethan. "No. You know what he's like though"

Seth cocked his head to the side curiously.

"Well, you know. Worried and stuff"

"Should he be?"

Doug looked uncomfortable. "I just want to forget about it. Can we go somewhere? Away from here?"

"Sure" Seth said, concerned at how troubled Doug seemed. "Where do you want to go?"

"Let's just hop on a bus and see where it takes us" Doug said impulsively, taking Seth's arm in his own and leading him away.

xxx

They ended up in town for a while. Feeling brave and out of place here, Seth took Doug's hand in his own, interlocking their fingers. Doug smiled at him for the first time that day, squeezing Seth's hand gently.

"Are you okay?" Seth asked eventually, sensing the sadness in Doug's smile.

"It's nothing" Doug murmured. "I just want to be here with you right now"

Seth's cheeks glowed. "Same here"

They fell into a companionable silence once more. Doug gave Seth's hand a tug.

"Want lunch?" He asked, pointing to a café.

Seth nodded, his stomach growling and making Doug chuckle.

Doug was unusually quiet as they ate. Seth wanted to ask what was going on but he wasn't sure Doug would tell him. Instead he asked a question close to the one he really wanted to ask.

"How come you were with Lynsey earlier?"

Doug looked up, his fork still poised in his hand. "When?"

"In the village" Seth replied. "It looked pretty serious"

Doug sighed, putting down his utensils. "She just needed someone to talk to"

Seth frowned. "Hasn't she got friends for that?"

"Well, not really" Doug said, looking torn. "She's been through a lot you know"

"Oh I know that" Seth said, unable to keep the distaste out of his voice. "I did really like Lynsey but…"

"I know. Silas" Doug seemed to struggle saying the name. "Look we don't have to talk about this"

"What has she been saying to you?" Seth asked suddenly.

"Nothing she hasn't said before" Doug replied vaguely. "Please, Seth. Can we not?"

Doug's blue eyes bored into Seth's intently, silently pleading with him to drop it.

"Alright" Seth agreed, sighing.

Doug leant across the table, kissing Seth sweetly on the cheek. "Thank you"

Seth blushed at the close proximity, feeling Doug's breath across his face.

"Doug…" he began carefully. "If we can't talk about _that,_can I ask you about something else?"

"Anything" Doug said, settling back into his chair.

"What's up with Ethan?"

Doug's eyebrows shot up. "Wrong? I don't follow you…?"

"He isn't happy about us" Seth stated. "Haven't you noticed?"

Doug looked uncomfortable. "Well, maybe. I just figured he's a bit…I don't know, worried?"

"About what?"

"Riley finding out for a start"

Seth rolled his eyes. "I don't care what my family thinks, it's my life" Seth reached across the table to squeeze Doug's hand. "I'll tell them today if it's a problem"

"It isn't" Doug confirmed. "I don't know why it is for Ethan either…"

Seth studied Doug closely. "Are you sure it isn't something else?"

"Like what?" Doug asked, confused.

Seth grinned. "Sounds like he fancies you"

Doug's mouth gaped open in shock. "Ethan? Fancy _me_? No way!"

"Oh come on, Doug" Seth said, rolling his eyes. "Isn't it obvious? The way he stares at you, how protective he is of you, the way he looks at the two of us…"

"He's a mate" Doug said firmly. "That's all"

"Maybe to you, but I think he might want more than that" Seth winked, sipping on his chocolate milkshake.

Doug was incredibly flustered. "No, you can't be right. It must be something else…"

"If you say so" Seth replied slyly. "I wouldn't put it past him though; we all know what he's like"

"How do you mean?"

"Didn't he have three women on the go?"

Doug shrugged, looking bothered. "He had reasons I guess… I tried to talk him out of it"

"That's because you're a good person" Seth explained. "Ethan's a bit of a dog really, isn't he?"

Doug's expression was shocked. "He's not…he's just…lonely?"

"Oh, Doug you're too nice for your own good" Seth sighed. "It's cute though really. You're a very loyal friend"

Doug smiled, embarrassed. "I'm all Ethan's got right now"

Seth nodded, amused. "And don't let him take advantage of that"

"Course not" Doug mumbled. "Do you wanna go back to mine by the way?"

"Always" Seth agreed, puling out his wallet.

"Hey, no. My treat"

"Doug-"

"No arguments" Doug smiled faintly, putting the money on the table. "Ready?"

Seth nodded, finishing off his milkshake and standing, taking Doug's hand once more.

"My boyfriend buys me lunch now" Seth chuckled as they walked out of the café.

"Boyfriend eh?"

"Well, naturally" Seth grinned easily at him. "Aren't you?"

"For as long as you'll have me" Doug agreed, kissing Seth once more a little too passionately. He pulled away, his face reddening. "Sorry, got a bit caught up in the moment"

"No problem" Seth breathed, his breath catching in his throat. "You astound me you know"

"How so?" Doug asked as they walked along once more.

"Your lips…" Seth trailed off, wondering. "I'm a lucky guy"

Doug smiled good-naturedly at him. "You flatter me"

"Hey, if no one else will…"

"What are you trying to say?" Doug asked indignantly, giving Seth a playful shove.

"I'm your number one fan" Seth explained. "And proud of it"

"Well I can't argue with that" Doug said, pulling Seth against him. "You reckon you can stay over tonight?" Doug's eyes sparkled.

Seth froze, embarrassed. "I'll do my best" he whispered, an overwhelming feeling filling his stomach.

Doug's expression softened. "Hey I didn't mean…you know, no pressure"

Seth nodded frantically. "I know that" he said lightly. "If you can keep your hands off of me that is…"

Doug smiled brightly at him. "I can only try"


	8. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

Doug wanted tonight to be special. Seth had gone home quickly to collect a few things to stay over; his parents didn't mind because they assumed it was an innocent sleepover. Doug felt a twinge of unease about it, but he pushed it aside. They had the flat to themselves; the girls had gone out and Ethan was staying late at work. Doug had tidied the flat in the short time he was afforded and had dimmed the lights, placing candles around the living room. It seemed terribly girlie and cheesy but Doug didn't care.

He'd cooked dinner, spaghetti and meatballs. There were a few rented films on the coffee table laid out, just in case. Doug had dressed smart as well; a buttoned dark blue shirt and jeans. He glanced around the flat, satisfied and happy. He heard the door go and turned around expectantly. But of course it wasn't Seth; he didn't have his own key after all.

"Ethan?" Doug said, deflated. "I thought you were working"

"Don't sound too disappointed" Ethan sighed, dropping his bag onto the sofa where Doug had just plumped the cushion.

Doug frowned, annoyed. "I'm not, it's just Seth's coming over"

Ethan glanced around the flat, his expression darkening. "What exactly are you planning?"

Doug blushed. "I don't think that's any of your business"

Ethan raised his eyebrows. "It's my flat too"

"Yeah but what have me and Seth got to do with you?" Doug pressed.

"Nothing" Ethan said gruffly. "But are you sure you should be doing this? He's just a kid, putting these ideas in his head-"

"What ideas?" Doug asked, his temper rising.

"I'm not getting into this with you, Doug" Ethan replied, loosening his tie.

"No, tell me!" Doug glared at Ethan openly. "Why would I be putting ideas into his head?"

Ethan sighed. "He's clearly a bit besotted with you. Don't you think all this will give him false hope?"

"False hope?" Doug spluttered.

"You aren't exactly love's young dream" Ethan rolled his eyes.

"What the hell do you know?" Doug exclaimed. "I care about Seth a lot, more than you realise"

"He isn't right for you, Doug" Ethan said plainly.

"And who is then? You?" The words left Doug's mouth before he could stop them. He clamped his lips shut, his face flushing once more in mortification. Ethan was rooted to the spot, too stunned to respond. "Can you just go? Please?"

"Fine" Ethan growled, storming through the door and slamming it shut behind him.

Doug sat down, his hands shaking on his face. What had made him say such a thing? And what was Ethan's problem anyway? This wasn't how tonight was supposed to go, that was for sure. There was a knock at the door and this time Doug knew it was Seth. He did his best to compose himself, opening the door with a flourish.

"Doug" Seth said brightly, smiling at him. "I finally catch you with your clothes on"

Doug couldn't help laughing. "Come on in" Seth stepped inside, glancing around the living room with an exuberant look on his face. Doug leaned forwards to kiss his cheek.

"What was that for?" Seth asked, turning to him.

Doug shrugged. "You looked cute"

"You've made an effort" Seth noted, impressed.

"Don't I always?" Doug countered.

"Well naturally" Seth suddenly frowned. "Hey, are you alright?" He brought his fingers to below Doug's eyes. "Were you crying?"

Doug wiped at his eyes in surprise. "Oh, I didn't realise-"

"Did something happen?" Seth asked, grasping Doug's shoulder. "You can tell me"

"It isn't important" Doug said dismissively.

"It is if it's upset you"

Doug sighed, walking to the kitchen to check on dinner. "Ethan left in a bit of a strop; I don't really want to talk about it"

"Oh" Seth said. His voice sounded odd.

Doug turned to him. "Don't let him ruin our evening though, I'm over it"

"Are you?" Seth asked pointedly.

Doug shrugged. "I will be. I've got you here, haven't I?"

"Of course" Seth said softly, leaning forwards to kiss him. The kiss deepened and Doug found himself forgetting all about dinner and everything else. He turned off the oven, still attached to every part of Seth he conceivably could be.

They found themselves falling onto the sofa, Doug lying on top of Seth. Doug kissed down his neck to his collar bone, small, sucking kisses. Seth tangled his hand in Doug's hair, his head bent to the side to allow Doug better access. Doug hastily unbuttoned his shirt with shaking fingers as Seth did the same. Their exposed torsos lay flushed together as they continued to kiss, the fervour of the moment descending upon them.

Doug's hand drifted down Seth's side, hesitating at the waistband of his boxers showing above his jeans. Seth opened his eyes, looking at him earnestly as he unzipped himself, reaching out for Doug as well. Laying bare to each other, Doug took a deep intake of breath. It was a surreal moment; being this exposed to another person again. He knew Seth was less experienced than him and would need guidance and patience.

Doug eased him into it the way he was his first time; through kisses and soft caresses. Seth responded to each touch, his kisses more desperate and yielding. Doug was almost hesitant to continue but Seth guided his hand to where he wanted to be touched, his smile small and adorable in nature. Doug kissed him again as his hand travelled lower, his other hand moving to gently cup Seth's face. As the inevitable point was reached, Doug prepared himself sufficiently, returning to the sofa to lie on top of Seth once more, holding him close as he pushed himself inside. Doug waited until the initial discomfort had passed before he continued.

Doug didn't think he had ever felt so connected to another person. He and Seth were one, moving together effortlessly. It was filled with the awkwardness of youth and yet there was something fundamentally special about the experience. Afterwards they lay together on the sofa, blanket thrown across their bottom halves; except now there was nothing to hide. Doug had his arm around Seth protectively and Seth was curled against Doug's side.

"I love you" Seth whispered, burying his head into Doug's chest.

Doug was stunned for a moment before responding. "I love you, too" he kissed the top of his head, his eyes closing in contentment. Everything was perfect.


	9. Chapter Nine

A/N: Sorry I took so long to update! Got lots of ideas for this story though :)

Chapter Nine

Life was cruel in the most surprising of ways. Doug had thought it was all over but in reality it was only just beginning. So much had happened in the weeks following his and Seth's first time together. At first things were perfect; except for the odd snide comment from Ethan. But then Doug had felt inclined to help Lynsey more and it was awkward because she was accusing Seth's Granddad of being the killer. Needless to say it had put quite the strain on their relationship.

"Why are you even listening to her?" Seth asked angrily.

"She's scared and alone. She just needs a friend right now!"

"Why you?" Seth countered.

"Who else has she got? Cheryl isn't speaking to her, Brendan's in prison…"

"Because he's the murderer!"

"I'm not so sure anymore…"

Seth rolled his eyes. "Wake up, Doug! You know the guy's a lunatic. You hate him don't you?"

"No, not really" Doug said truthfully. "I just don't think he's capable of this, not anymore"

"What's changed your mind?" Seth crossed his arms.

"Lynsey has. She-"

"I don't have to listen to this"

"Please, Seth. This shouldn't reflect on us-"

"How can it not?" Seth shouted, getting red in the face. "That's my Granddad!"

"I'm sorry" Doug said lamely. "I can't help what I feel to be true"

"So you're convinced then? She really has got you wrapped around her little finger" Seth rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

"It isn't like that!" Doug insisted. "I love _you_!"

"Funny way of showing it" Seth moved towards the door. Doug began to feel his chest tighten at the motion, his eyes pricking with tears.

"Don't go" Doug choked out.

Seth's face softened, looking into Doug's eyes. "Please just tell me you'll drop it and stay away from Lynsey"

Doug looked away guiltily. "I can't do that" he breathed. "I'm sorry"

Seth's eyes filled with tears. "Then I can't be with you, I just can't" Seth rubbed at his eyes angrily. "I didn't want it to end this way"

"Then don't!" Doug lunged forwards, grabbing at Seth's jumper, one of his own. "I want us to be together, I do"

Seth held Doug's face in his hands, bringing him close for a kiss. "Goodbye, Douglas"

"No!" Doug tried to reach for him as he moved to open the door. "Just, give me a chance! I have to do this, for Bex"

"I'm so sorry" Seth whispered, shaking his head and closing the door behind him.

Doug stood there, stunned for several moments. Ethan interrupted his moment by jogging down the stairs.

"Alright, Dougie? Fancy some breakfast?" His voice was unnaturally cheerful. Things had been tense between them since their argument. Ethan could barely look him in the eye and he certainly didn't approve of Seth being round all the time.

"No" Doug said bluntly, sinking to the floor.

"Doug?" Ethan rushed forwards, hesitating when he reached him. "What's wrong?"

"I blew it, Ethan" Doug let the tears fall over his cheeks.

"What are you talking about?" Ethan squatted to Doug's level. "Has someone upset you?"

"Seth, he-"

"Oh I should have known" Ethan growled. "What's he done?"

"Ethan!" Doug stared at him with wide, reproachful eyes. "It was me who messed it up"

Ethan looked at him in confusion. "Why? What happened?"

"Silas"

Ethan groaned. "Doug, come on-"

"No!" Doug leapt to his feet. "I know you don't believe me but I'm not having this from you, Ethan"

"Just calm down, alright?" Ethan put his hands out in front of him. "Just talk to me"

Doug looked despairingly to the side. "Isn't it obvious? I believe Lynsey, Seth can't deal with it so he left"

"Left?"

"Yes, Ethan! He's left me. Are you happy now?"

"Of course not" Ethan said, flushing.

Doug wiped at his eyes, feeling foolish. "I just need a minute"

"Wait" Ethan grabbed Doug's wrist. Doug felt a shiver up his spine that he couldn't understand.

"What is it?" Doug looked at him, blinking through his tears. Ethan's mouth gaped open a little, just looking at him.

"Come here" Ethan pulled Doug towards him, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Ethan…" Doug began, his voice a little choked.

"Just let me do what best friends do, okay?"

Doug nodded reluctantly, relaxing into Ethan's embrace. They remained that way for some time; Ethan absentmindedly stroking his fingers through Doug's hair. Doug wasn't sure if this was how friends were supposed to hug but the contact felt nice and reassuring so he didn't question it too much.

Eventually Doug pulled away, feeling awkward at how close their bodies were. "Thanks, Ethan"

"Anytime" Ethan replied, his voice a little high. "Um, look I don't have to work tonight. Did you want to go out or something? The pub?" Ethan winced, remembering. "I mean no. The club?" Ethan grimaced. "Right, no because of Cheryl…"

Doug shrugged. "I don't have an issue with the Brady's"

Ethan looked at him strangely. "Well alright. The club then?"

"I'm not sure I fancy it…"

"Oh come on, night out will do you some good!"

Doug sighed. "I guess, maybe…"

"We haven't been out just the two of us in ages, not since-" Ethan coughed. "I mean, it'll be good, won't it?"

Doug slowly began to smile. "If it shuts you up"

"Yes! It will, promise" Ethan grinned at him.

Doug rolled his eyes, relenting. "And what about in the meantime?"

Ethan's smile faded a little. "We'll have a duvet day!" He announced, his eyes sparkling.

Doug looked at him warily. "We will?"

"Yes! Go on" Ethan gave him a little push towards the stairs.

xxx

It was a very pleasant day in the end. Doug and Ethan put their pyjamas on and sat in front of the television, watching old comedy programmes. It turned out they liked a lot of the same shows from the nineties. Doug liked the familiarity; it was difficult at times, the age gap with Seth. Normally Doug barely noticed it but it was moments like these with Ethan that it became glaringly obvious. It was even stranger because Doug usually went for the older partner. But he loved being with Seth; he was a lot more mature for his years and so sweet and generous.

Doug shook himself, dispelling thoughts of Seth from his mind. Ethan looked at him, concern etched on his brow, and smiled faintly at him. His foot nudged against Doug's lightly. Doug wasn't even sure if it was intentional but he didn't move his foot away; the contact felt good.

When evening arrived, Doug was so comfortable he almost opted for staying in instead but Ethan seemed so keen to go out that he didn't say anything.

"Give me ten minutes to freshen up" Doug told him, bounding up the stairs.

They stepped out not long after, both of them dressed in buttoned shirts and jeans. Doug had borrowed one of Ethan's because his wardrobe only seemed to consist of jumpers and beige trousers; his other clothes appeared to be in the wash.

"Thanks for this" Doug tugged at the shirt, which was a little big for him.

"No problem. Looks good on you"

Doug smiled, hiding his blush. "You always look good in your suits; I look a little out of place"

"You don't. Stop putting yourself down, Doug"

Doug shrugged. "Day I've had…"

"Hey, we had a good day didn't we?" Ethan frowned.

"I meant with Seth…"

"Oh. Right, course" Ethan looked away awkwardly.

They arrived at the club. Cheryl gave Doug a nod, looking decidedly sober. Doug texted Lynsey, asking if everything was okay.

"Who's that then?" Ethan asked, ordering them some drinks.

"Lynsey" Doug explained absentmindedly, glancing at her reply.

"Are you two…?" Ethan trailed off awkwardly. Doug looked at him, his eyebrows knitted together.

"Are we what?"

Ethan flushed. "Is something going on…with you two?"

Doug gave him an incredulous look. "I've only just split up with Seth!"

"I know but, is that a reason why?"

"No! What do you take me for?"

"I'm sorry" Ethan said, taking the drinks to their table. "I just wondered, that's all. Lynsey's a pretty girl"

"You ask her out then" Doug huffed.

"I was just saying" Ethan sighed.

Doug grabbed the drink from him, taking a large sip.

"Take it easy" Ethan warned him.

"Not tonight" Doug said gruffly, taking a longer sip.

It didn't take much to get Doug drunk. A few drinks and he was gone. Ethan was being annoyingly responsible tonight; stopping Doug from getting up to dance with men who were giving him the eye.

"You aren't my Mother" Doug insisted, Ethan's arms around his stomach to stop him bounding off.

"You're drunk, Doug. I need to get you home"

"Fuck you" Doug slurred, pushing his hand in Ethan's face. "Who asked you?"

"Come on" Ethan gave an almighty tug, managing to get Doug to walk down the stairs.

They found themselves outside moments later, the cold air whipping Doug's face and sobering him up somewhat.

"I'm sorry" he said, his voice very small.

"Its fine, you're hurting" Ethan kept one arm around his waist as support. "Maybe it was a bad idea taking you out"

"No, no. I had fun" Doug insisted.

"You'll have more fun wrapped up in a blanket at home with a strong coffee to sober you up"

"No! We should go somewhere else. The Dog! Let's go there"

Ethan gritted his teeth. "No, Doug. You know why we can't go there"

"Oh" Doug deflated. "Ethan, I feel so sad"

"I know you do" Ethan sighed, stopping a moment. "It'll all work out in the end though"

"How?" Doug collapsed against Ethan. "That's his family I'm speaking against. How will he ever forgive me?"

Ethan was at a loss for words. "He'll come around. He loves you" Ethan struggled a little on the word 'love'. Even in his drunk state Doug picked up on it.

"Why don't you like me and Seth together?"

"I never said that"

"It's pretty obvious"

Ethan sighed, dodging the question. "Let's just go home, yeah?"

"No" Doug said firmly, stopping still. "Tell me" he turned to face Ethan directly, swaying a little under the influence of alcohol.

"I don't have a problem with either of you" Ethan explained slowly.

"But?"

"I miss you, Doug" Ethan closed his eyes, smiling a little. "It used to just be the two of us, you know? We used to hang all the time, no dates allowed. Just the lads" Ethan smirked. "You're my best friend; I couldn't bear seeing you with someone else. I love you, man"

Doug blinked several times, leaning forwards as though some irresistible force was pulling him towards Ethan. Soft lips met slightly chapped ones in a rare, impassioned moment between two friends. Doug pulled away almost as quickly as he had leaned forwards. Ethan's eyes were wide, shock evident on his face. But there was a flicker in his eyes; telling Doug that he felt something here; something undeniable and strong that Doug felt too, had always felt, if he was being honest with himself. But it wasn't their time. Doug loved Seth. It wasn't right, not now.

"I'm sorry" Doug whispered, fighting the urge to fall against Ethan once more and allow him to take him to a place where it wouldn't hurt anymore. He respected Ethan too much for that, in any case.

"Doug" Ethan croaked.

"I know" Doug said softly. "Let's just…go"

Ethan nodded wordlessly, leading the way home.


	10. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

Seth stared blankly at his bedroom wall, unmoving. He felt numb; he'd barely moved from his bedroom for twenty four hours. It was too much, facing the world, facing his family. Only Jason really knew about Doug anyway; his Mum assumed he was having an ordinary teenage strop. This angered Seth even more. He wasn't some kid; he felt things, understood things. He and Doug had broken up for a very good reason, a mature reason. But it was hard; Seth was almost tempted to go see him and change things but he knew as long as Doug believed what he did, there was nothing more to say.

Seth only hoped that one day Doug would come to his senses and admit he was wrong. Until then, Seth could only wait…

xxx

Doug woke up the next morning, his head throbbing from the night before. It took him several moments to remember the events of last night and then he was left feeling as though he never wanted to get out of bed again. How could he have kissed Ethan? His friend? Clearly it was just a rebound thing; Doug was missing Seth, it was natural. Only problem was, Doug didn't really believe that.

He and Ethan had always been close. Back at the start when it was the four of them: Doug, Ethan, Riley and Noah, Ethan had always been the mature one, the one Doug could confide in. And since it was just the two of them living here with the girls, they had really bonded. Doug had always been fairly sure of himself and who he liked; to him, it was the person he fell for, whoever that may be.

Ethan had always seemed attractive to him but in a kind of indifferent way. He never believed for one moment that he could fall for him in any manner. Not that he was of course; it was only a kiss after all. They would just have to talk it out. Ethan was probably feeling as mortified as Doug was right now. They could just laugh it off. Simple.

Doug emerged from his bedroom, half-dressed. The flat was buzzing with the morning rush. The girls had an early lecture and Doug knew that Ethan wasn't due at work until later. He crept down the stairs just as the front door slammed shut. Ethan was halfway through his breakfast when Doug completed his descent down the stairs. Ethan's spoon froze in mid-air.

"Doug" he said in some surprise. "You're awake"

"Of course" Doug mumbled, shifting forwards awkwardly. "You alright?"

"Little hung-over. You?"

"You know" Doug shrugged. "The same"

"You were pretty out of it last night" Ethan said, frowning a little. "Do you remember much?"

Doug eyed Ethan warily. Did he really think Doug would forget? Did he want him to?

"Ethan, listen-"

Doug was interrupted by his phone ringing from upstairs. He ran to answer it, his heart thumping as he realised it was Lynsey.

"Lynsey. You okay?"

"I'm fine, I just…Doug, I just need…" She sounded distressed.

"I'll come over" Doug said firmly.

"You don't have to-"

"Give me ten minutes"

Doug hung up, throwing some clothes and deodorant on quickly and darting back down the stairs.

"I have to go" he told Ethan apologetically. "Can we talk later?"

"Why are you rushing off?" Ethan asked suspiciously.

"Lynsey needs me"

If Doug wasn't mistaken, Ethan's face darkened considerably.

"Meet me at lunch in The Dog"

"Fine, no problem" Doug said absentmindedly, searching for his keys. "See you later"

He slammed the door shut, jogging down the stairs and out into the village. Wrapped up in his own haste, he didn't notice the person walking towards him; the two of them inevitably bumping into each other.

"Sorry" Doug muttered quickly.

"Hi"

Doug froze. "Seth" he said, looking him over. "Hey"

Seth looked down at his feet. "Didn't even see me, did you?"

"I was uh, in a hurry" Doug glanced at his watch.

"To where?" Seth's eyes were challenging.

"Lynsey" Doug replied, opting for the truth. Seth's face hardened in response.

"Oh right"

"I'm sorry but I-"

"I get it. Hurry along, she needs you" Seth closed his eyes, turning his body away.

"Seth-"

"Just go"

Doug hesitated, wanting to reach out and comfort him, but knowing that it was impossible. "I'll see you around" he said, his voice low. He walked away as quickly as he could after that, heading for Lynsey's.

As he arrived, he almost bumped into someone else.

"Not my day today" he mumbled. He looked up. "Sorry"

"Not a problem" Ste looked distracted himself. He moved to walk past Doug but something made Doug speak out.

"Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Ste retorted, his head bent low.

Doug smiled tightly at him. "It's not easy, I know"

Ste's expression softened. "Just got to get on with it, haven't we?"

"Yeah" Doug smiled a little sadly. He wanted to say more; tell Ste that it would be alright, that he and Lynsey would sort this. But his mouth couldn't quite phrase the words. "Take care of yourself" he simply said.

"You too" Ste smiled and walked past him.

Doug sighed, calling Lynsey first to make sure she knew it was him at the door.

She embraced him as he entered, making Doug blush.

"Thanks for coming. I'm sorry to bother you again"

"You aren't" Doug told her firmly. "You call me anytime you need me"

"Thank you" Lynsey smiled. Her hands were twisting together nervously. "I just didn't want to be alone today" she admitted.

"Are you sleeping any better?" Doug asked, taking a seat.

"Not really" She admitted, sitting beside him.

"Can I do anything? I could stay over?"

"No, it's okay" Lynsey looked away. "I have to deal with this on my own"

"Hey" Doug put his hand over Lynsey's, squeezing her fingers gently. "You aren't alone in this, alright?"

Lynsey smiled, nodding. "I know. I really appreciate everything you've done, everything you've sacrificed…"

Doug's stomach twisted. "Yeah" he looked away. "I'd do it again though, if it means exposing the truth"

Lynsey sighed. "It's just so exhausting, all the time"

Doug leaned against her. "Let me share the load with you. Day or night, if you need me, I'll come running"

Lynsey smiled sweetly, kissing Doug's cheek. "Thank you, Doug. I don't know what I'd do without you"

"It's nothing" Doug shrugged. His phone buzzed in his pocket. Ethan.

"You should get going" Lynsey offered, looking down. Doug was torn, not wanting to leave her alone but desperately wanting to go and see Ethan.

Making his decision quickly, Doug sent Ethan a message, telling him he would talk to him later.

"Wanna watch a film?" Doug asked lightly, picking up the remote. Lynsey smiled at him gratefully.

xxx

Ethan sat at home that evening, anxiously awaiting Doug's return. He didn't even know what would be said, or whether he was angry at Doug for not meeting him earlier, or rather anxious at what could have possibly kept him away. He didn't know how he felt about last night, or what he had been feeling for weeks now. It was all a mess in his head; a mess he couldn't possibly diagnose.

When the door clicked open, Ethan sat up, alert and ready. Doug saw him immediately, noting the fact that they were alone. He walked in slowly, shutting the door behind him.

"Ethan" he greeted him.

"Where have you been?" Ethan couldn't stop the words leaving his mouth.

Doug frowned. "I've been with Lynsey"

Ethan stood up. "All day?" he asked tersely.

Doug's expression darkened. "Yes, all day. She needed me"

"What for exactly?" Ethan knew he was temper was rising but he didn't care.

"None of your business" Doug rolled his eyes, heading to the stairs.

"Where are you going now?" Ethan raged.

"To bed!" Doug responded. "That alright with you?"

"No!" Ethan moved forwards, grabbing Doug's arm. "What happened to our talk?"

"Aren't we talking now?" Doug pointed out, shaking off Ethan's grip.

"We're arguing"

"Same thing, right?"

"No!" Ethan sighed, frustrated. "Please, Doug-"

"I'm tired, Ethan" Doug said, defeated. "Can it wait until morning?"

"No it really can't"

Doug rolled his eyes, taking his foot off the stairs. "Alright, talk" he folded his arms.

Ethan spluttered, unprepared. "Last night we kissed"

Doug kept his gaze steady but there was a flicker of doubt in his eyes. "I'm sorry I did that. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable"

"You don't have to apologise" Ethan said softly. "I just wanted to talk to you about it properly, why didn't you show today?"

"I told you, Lynsey needed me. She's going through such a hard time right now"

"But that really isn't your problem, Doug"

"I've made it my problem. It isn't as though any one else is trying"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Look, we kissed. It was a mistake. Can we drop it?"

"No!" Ethan didn't know what he wanted.

"No?" Doug searched Ethan's face. "Did you…did you feel something?" His tone was hopeful and for a moment Ethan was taken aback.

"I…I don't know"

Doug's body language softened. "I thought you'd be mad at me"

"I'm not" Ethan smiled a little. "Far from it"

"I thought maybe that-" Doug shook his head. "It doesn't matter. None of this matters. I can't do this" Doug rubbed at his forehead. "I saw Seth today. He looked so upset"

Ethan looked down. "I'm sorry for him, I am. But Doug-"

"We don't need to talk about this, Ethan. There's nothing more to say"

"There's everything to say!" Ethan took a deep breath. "I did feel something last night and I know you did too" Ethan looked into his eyes hopefully. "Didn't you?"

Doug looked down. "If I did or not-"

"Did you?"

"Ethan-"

"Doug" Ethan said firmly, taking a hold of his arms. "Please. It's a simple question"

"I…felt something" Doug admitted. "I've felt it before and I can't explain it. I don't know what it means and I don't know what to do-"

Ethan, acting on impulse, kissed Doug sweetly on the mouth. Doug drew back, panic in his eyes.

"Ethan, we can't"

"Shh" Ethan kissed him again, more firmly this time. He felt Doug responding, tangling his fingers in Ethan's hair. Something felt so right about this, Ethan couldn't explain it. "Doug" he breathed against him, their mouths momentarily detached. "Is this okay?"

Doug replied by kissing Ethan, pushing his body against his. Ethan had him against the wall in moments, his lips wet and inviting at Doug's neck.

"Is this really happening?" Doug breathed, his fingers fumbling with Ethan's shirt buttons.

"I hope so" Ethan laughed nervously, kissing Doug once more like it was the only thing in the world that made sense.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Fright Night. When everything changed. Doug could never have prepared himself for what unfolded in those few days. It all started to unhinge the day before Halloween.

With Ethan.

Pushed against the wall, Doug began to feel Ethan's hands in strange, new places. He was experienced, that was for sure. Doug felt his shirt ripped off in a matter of moments, buttons rolling across the floor uncared for. Ethan proceeded to kiss down Doug's neck to his chest, his tongue darting out across one of Doug's nipples in the process. Doug gasped, grasping Ethan's hair, his fingers curling around the strands.

"Ethan" Doug groaned.

"What?" Ethan grunted in response, getting to work on undoing Doug's trousers.

"Are we doing this here?"

Ethan stopped for a moment, looking at Doug as though seeing him for the first time. Doug wondered if he had spoilt the moment.

Next instant however, Ethan had lifted Doug's legs up onto his waist, causing an embarrassing squeak to protrude from Doug's lips. Ethan laughed as he carried him upstairs.

"Been working out have we?" Doug asked coyly as he was unceremoniously dropped onto Ethan's bed.

Ethan grinned, removing his shirt and revealing his taut muscles. "What do you think?" he asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Doug smirked, welcoming Ethan on top of him.

Things got very heated, very quickly after that. Their kisses were intoxicating; Doug had never experienced anything like it. It was easy to forget that he was lying naked beneath his best friend, or that his friend was cradling his face and kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

Ethan hesitated, looking down at Doug with wide, fearful eyes. "Can I… I mean, can I…?"

Doug looked at him for several moments before he realised what Ethan was asking. He blushed. "Of course" he said throatily, taking Ethan's fingers and giving them a small squeeze before guiding them towards his entry.

Doug hadn't done this for a while and the discomfort was a little overwhelming at first but he powered through. Ethan was extremely gentle, and surprisingly able. It wasn't long until he lined himself up above Doug, looking into his face for confirmation.

Doug nodded, not taking his eyes off of Ethan as he entered him. The rest was almost a blur of kisses and caresses, Ethan's chest hair tickling Doug's bare chest. It didn't feel weird or awkward, it felt like coming home. Doug couldn't explain it, even afterwards as they lay together, Doug's head against Ethan's chest and Ethan's arm wrapped around his waist, stroking softly against his skin.

"I guess our friendship is officially ruined" Doug chuckled, closing his eyes.

Ethan laughed, tightening his hold. "That's alright. As long as you're here…" Ethan trailed off, his expression troubled.

"What is it?" Doug asked anxiously, sitting up on his elbows.

"Nothing" Ethan replied, taking Doug in his arms once more. "Don't spoil it"

"Ethan-"

"If this is all I get I need to savour it"

Doug sat up again. "What are you talking about?"

Ethan sighed, looking defeated. "That was a one off, right?"

"I…" Doug frowned. "Well I don't know"

Ethan pulled the covers off of himself. "Well I do" he sat up, grabbing his shirt from the floor.

"How do you know?" Doug asked, irritated.

"You love Seth" Ethan stated matter-of-fact.

Doug's eyes widened in horror. "Seth" he breathed. He had almost forgotten him in the heat of the moment.

"There we are" Ethan said, standing up to put his trousers on.

"Ethan, me and Seth aren't together anymore" Doug felt a lump in his throat.

"You only just broke up" Ethan said, buttoning himself up.

Doug looked down guiltily. "I shouldn't have done this"

Ethan smiled sadly. "I'll always be your mate, Doug. But I can't deny that I want you, just you. But I won't share you"

Doug looked at Ethan, affronted. "_Share me_? I'm not anyone's property!" Doug's cheeks flushed as he pulled himself out of bed.

"I'm not saying that-" Ethan began but Doug gave him a little push.

"What's your problem anyway? You wait until now to tell me all this? What about when we first met and I liked you?"

"Doug, I didn't know then!"

"More like you were too busy chasing skirt to notice!" Doug redressed himself hastily. "Don't you tell me you won't share me when I've had to share you with all of your women this past year. The minute I get someone in my life that I care about you can't deal with it. Poor little Ethan won't be ignored" Doug rolled his eyes.

"Don't mock me, Doug it doesn't suit you"

"Fine. Let's just leave it, yeah? I have to go see Lynsey anyway"

"Of course you do" Ethan nodded, looking smug. "What catastrophe is she imagining this time?"

Doug glared at Ethan. "She's telling the truth"

"Why are you so naïve?" Ethan asked, frustrated. "She's taking you for a mug!"

"She's my friend!" Doug shouted. "She trusts me and she needs me. Unlike some people"

"I do need you, Doug! Can't you see that?"

"Not really" Doug shook his head. "I have to go, see you later" Doug shouldered past him to the door, not looking back.

xxx

Doug returned later that day, somewhat calmer than when he had left. Ethan wasn't there; Doug didn't know if he was glad about that or not. He settled down on the sofa, head in his hands.

It was all too much. Lynsey was freaking out, scared witless. Seth was nowhere to be found, him and Ethan weren't speaking… Doug just wanted to make things right. He wanted to be a good friend to everyone, but he didn't know anymore how he was supposed to do that.

The door clicked open and Ethan sighed at the sight of Doug. Doug took his head out of his hands and Ethan's expression changed.

"Doug? What's the matter?" He rushed forwards, trying to reach out to him.

"Everything is a mess" Doug said, alarmed that tears were falling down his cheeks.

Ethan sat beside him, putting an arm around him. He had always been so hesitant at physical contact before but since they had slept together, things had changed.

"Is it Lynsey?"

Doug nodded, bowing his head.

"And me?"

Doug looked up at him, wiping at his eyes. "I'm sorry we argued"

"No, I'm sorry. I got caught up in the frustration I feel over it"

"Let's forget it for now" Doug stood up. "I need to go out"

"Now?" Ethan grabbed his arm. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I need to see Lynsey again"

Ethan let go reluctantly. "I'll see you soon though, yeah?"

"Yeah" Doug nodded weakly.

xxx

When he returned later, Ethan was listening to his music with his back turned. Doug approached him, feeling more frantic than ever. Ethan had to listen to him this time. He accused Doug of wanting Lynsey again but Doug let it pass, they had bigger things to worry about. The moment he mentioned Theresa, Ethan paid attention. He still cared for her after all.

They went to Chez Chez to find Lynsey. She wasn't best pleased that Doug had brought Ethan with her. Doug tried to go after her but Ethan grabbed his arm.

"Doug, just leave her"

"I can't!"

"Listen, I'm here. Nothing is going to happen to her while I'm here, promise"

"You don't even believe her!" Doug ran his hands over his face. "Please, Ethan. If you can't trust her, can't you trust me?"

Ethan looked at him squarely. "Of course I trust you. Let me go see if Theresa is okay. I'll keep an eye on Lynsey as well"

"Alright" Doug nodded as Ethan made his way upstairs. Doug brought his phone out, calling Seth again for about the fifth time. No answer.

He felt as though he wanted to kick something. Or someone. He was scared; his palms were itching and he was sweating profusely. He angrily brought his phone out again, calling Seth. He decided to leave a message when there was no answer.

"Seth. Please call me back. I need to speak to you, it's important. Something's not right, please keep yourself safe. I…" Doug hesitated. "I love you, okay?"

Doug went up the stairs only to see Ethan and Theresa talking. Ethan pushed a lock of hair away from her face, his expression tender. It bothered Doug far more than it should have. He stormed outside onto the balcony, breathing hard. Dodger eventually came out, looking for Texas. It was going to be a long night…

xxx

Seth had been ignoring Doug's phone calls. He couldn't speak to him right now. It was only when his phone buzzed to tell him he had a voicemail message did his resolve waver. He listened to it, feeling tears spring to his eyes at Doug's words. But it also made him tense, a horrible feeling of foreboding washing over him in an instant. He started to text him, asking to meet up. He couldn't call him, it was too hard.

Jason came through the door with Ethan. Seth really didn't want to see him right now. He had just texted Doug when he heard the broken note in Jason's voice and turned, asking if his Mum was okay. Jason and Ethan's expression confirmed it for Seth before Jason uttered the words.

"She's dead"

Seth turned to Riley, willing him to say it wasn't true, that their Mum was okay and this was all some sick joke. But he looked just as shocked as Seth felt. There was no happy ending here. Seth felt his insides twist into knots. This couldn't be happening. This happened to other people, not his family.

And through the daze his phone buzzed in his hand.

"Come find me if you need me"

xxx

Doug went home eventually after trying to get a hold of Ethan for Lynsey. She had gone to speak to Riley, even though Doug had advised her not to. He was feeling so useless right now. He had told Seth to come to him if he needed him but he didn't really expect him to. What could be possibly say to make this alright?

"Doug?" Ethan had arrived home. He sounded exhausted.

"You alright?" Doug stood, feeling detached.

Ethan stared at him blankly. "I'm so sorry" he croaked, starting to cry.

"Ethan-" Doug said, panicked. Ethan practically flung himself at Doug, holding him tight.

"I was so wrong. I should have listened to you"

"Shh, it's okay" Doug stroked the back of Ethan's head. "People make mistakes"

"I made a huge one. How can I ever forgive myself? How will anyone be able to?"

"They will. You didn't do this, Ethan. And you weren't the only one to believe him. I'll be here for you if no one else will"

Ethan pulled away, his face wet with tears. He looked at Doug adoringly. Doug had never seen him look so open before. "Thank you" he said, staring down at Doug's mouth.

"Ethan, I-"

"Doug?" Seth was heard before he was seen. Doug and Ethan sprung apart guiltily.

"Seth?" Doug saw him as he reached the doorway, utterly broken. His heart went out to him.

"Oh, Doug" Seth flew into Doug's open arms, gripping him hard and sobbing into his shoulder. "I do need you, now more than ever"

"I'm here, I'm here" Doug soothed, opening his eyes and realising that Ethan was gone.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

It had been a long night. Seth had cried for hours, eventually tiring himself out so much that he fell asleep on Doug's lap. Doug didn't sleep at all; he was far too preoccupied with the dizzying thoughts consuming him. Ethan came down the stairs in the early hours of the morning, looking worse than Doug felt. He came towards them on the sofa, his hair ruffled. Doug reached out to stroke down the strands and smiled, forgetting for a moment everything that was going on. Ethan leaned into his touch but a stirring sound from Seth snapped the two of them out of it.

"Coffee?" Ethan asked huskily.

"Please" Doug whispered, gently easing Seth's head away from his lap and onto a pillow. He walked into the kitchen after Ethan. "Any more news?"

Ethan sighed. "Nothing good. There's a big meeting today at work but it's mostly just to cover ourselves. Lynsey could have a lot to say about negligence…"

"I think she'll just be pleased it's all over" Doug sighed, taking a seat and yawning. "And so will I"

"It isn't though" Ethan glanced over at Seth. Doug followed his gaze.

"He'll get through this somehow"

"How do you get over something like that?" Ethan asked incredulously.

"You don't. In time you learn to accept that it's a part of you, that they're a part of you. Life has to carry on, cruel as it seems"

Ethan nodded thoughtfully. "You and Seth…" he said eventually, looking uncomfortable.

"I'll be here for him" Doug said seriously. "But I don't know what that means exactly"

Ethan looked away. "Whatever makes you happy"

"I'm hardly happy right now, Ethan" Doug replied, exasperated. He immediately regretted his words at the look on Ethan's face. "I'm sorry. I'm just so tired, and worried, and sick…"

"Sick?"

"This whole situation makes me sick" Doug groaned, slumping slightly onto the table.

"It'll be okay" Ethan reassured him. "The main thing is we know who it is now. That'll spare anymore damage to be done"

"I think enough has been done already" Doug sighed. "Oh hey, does this mean Brendan will get released?"

Ethan gritted his teeth in annoyance. "I suppose so"

"He's innocent. He was innocent all along…" Doug felt a twinge of guilt.

"Don't feel sorry for him, Doug" Ethan said sternly. "You don't know him like I do"

"Oh I think I do" Doug said, laughing humourlessly.

Ethan's expression was strange but Doug decided not to press the issue further.

There was a gentle knock at the door. Doug glanced to Ethan, uncertain. Ethan moved to answer it.

"Riley" Doug said in some surprise.

"Is he here?" Riley asked, his voice monotone.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, he crashed out. I should have told you"

"Its okay, Ethan called" Riley said dismissively. "Thanks. For keeping him safe"

Doug nodded, a lump forming in his throat. "Is there anything else I can do?"

Riley shook his head. "I need to take Seth home though. Could you wake him?"

"Sure" Doug said, moving to sit beside Seth. "Hey, time to wake up" he said gently.

Seth opened his eyes slowly, having a look on his face that told Doug in those first few seconds of waking he had almost forgotten. The realisation settled heavily upon him. He leaned against Doug for support.

"Riley's here. He wants to take you home" Doug told him. Seth nodded mutely.

"Mitzeee's making breakfast" Riley said, attempting to inject some lightness into his voice. Ethan squeezed his shoulder.

Seth stood up slowly. "Can I come back later?" He looked at Doug.

"If you want to…" Riley said, clearly confused. He would need to find out the truth soon enough but not today.

Doug gave Seth's hand a brief grasp as Riley led him out of the flat. As the door closed after them, Doug felt strangely empty. Without Seth to focus on, he only had his own grief to consider. Ethan, sensing this, handed him a mug of coffee and smiled at him.

"You want to walk with me to work?"

"You sure?"

"Course. Could do with the company" Ethan admitted, setting his mug down.

"Give me a few minutes to freshen up" Doug said, bounding up the stairs.

He returned a few minutes later to Ethan standing near the door with his coat on, handing Doug his own.

"Are you ready for this?" Doug asked him, opening the door.

"Do you think people will say anything?"

Doug looked at him apologetically. "I'll just say, be prepared"

Ethan nodded, looking resigned to his fate.

They did get a few looks on their way through the village. Doug kept himself close to Ethan, showing his support for his friend. Ethan seemed grateful to have him there. Everyone relied on Doug right now. He wasn't sure how that made him feel.

When they reached the station, Doug hung about awkwardly, hands in his pockets. It was sometimes quite intimidating that Ethan was a copper. He was such an adult at times that Doug felt he couldn't possibly connect to him. But then Ethan would come home after a long day with a pizza and a film and they would drink and laugh and Doug would berate himself for worrying over nothing.

He didn't know what the rest of the day would hold. He wanted to see Lynsey but she was probably occupied. Seth was with his family but Doug desperately wanted to see him, comfort him. He wasn't sure if it was appropriate right now and what kind of message he would be giving out if he did so. A part of him didn't care. Seth had lost someone extremely precious to him, and all Doug wanted was to be there for him in his hour of need and beyond.

"Doug?" Ethan said tentatively. "Are you alright? I need to go in"

"Oh, sorry yeah" Doug shook his head, barely smiling. "Are you coming home for lunch? I'll cook us something"

"That would be great, thanks" Ethan smiled thinly, reaching out but then apparently thinking better of it. "See you later then"

"See you" Doug said absentmindedly.

He walked back through the village, feeling the tension in the air at every corner. The police were still milling around, looking for further evidence. Doug felt abstract and incredibly alone. In his wandering he found himself outside the pub. No harm in getting a drink. He walked through the door and almost collided into Riley, who looked frantic.

"What's wrong?" He asked straight away.

"Seth's gone. I left him alone for one minute and he's disappeared"

"Riley, relax. He probably just needed some air"

"He's in such a state, Doug" Riley ran his hands through his hair. "I need to find him but I have to talk to the police again and-"

"Don't worry, leave it to me. I'll find him" Doug's heart tightened with desperate worry. "I'll call you, alright?"

"Thanks, mate. Means a lot" Riley clapped him on the shoulder and Doug once again felt a twinge of guilt. A lot of that going around today.

He searched all over the village, asking people as he went and witnessing their sympathetic looks at the situation. Doug didn't need the pity, he needed Seth.

Feeling increasingly frustrated, Doug decided to go back to the flat to think. He reached into his pockets for his keys and froze. They were gone. He knocked on the door repeatedly, calling through the letterbox.

"I've lost my keys! Someone let me in!"

Thankfully Leanne was just on her way out and opened the door. "Doug, what are you like, eh? Come in"

"Thanks" Doug bustled past her. "Hey you haven't seen Seth anywhere have you?"

Leanne shook her head. "Should he really be left on his own at a time like this?"

"No he shouldn't" Doug said, marvelling at Leanne's tact.

"Well I hope you find him" She said pleasantly enough, breezing out of the front door.

Doug took the steps two at a time, deciding to put on a jumper before he continued his search. He opened the door only to find someone asleep in his bed.

"Hello?" He asked, wondering why any sane person would greet someone breaking into their home and sleeping in their bed.

The figure stirred, blinking up at Doug. "Hi" Seth said, his eyes red raw.

"Oh, Seth. I've been looking all over for you! How did you get in?"

Seth stared guiltily at the bedside table where Doug's keys were placed.

"Oh" Doug said lamely, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "How come you came here?"

"It's the only place I feel…" Seth trailed off, unable to continue. "I know we aren't together anymore, Doug but I just… I need you. Not just because… well, you know" Seth wiped at his eyes. "I've missed you"

"Seth-"

"No let me finish" Seth took a deep breath. "You were right all along and maybe if I'd listened to you, Mum would-" Seth broke off, biting his knuckles. Doug immediately went to him, taking him into his arms.

"You listen to me. This isn't your fault. And your Mum wouldn't want you blaming yourself, alright?"

Seth nodded, clinging to Doug's arm. "I'm just so sorry"

"You have nothing to be sorry for" Doug held him tighter.

Seth looked up, his eyes wet and shining. "You're so lovely to me" he leaned forwards but Doug pulled away. The rejection on Seth's face was almost too much to bear.

"Seth, you're vulnerable right now. I can't take advantage of that, I won't"

"I love you though, you know that" Seth said with perfect sincerity.

"And I love you, of course I do, but I'm saying it's too much, too soon"

Seth nodded sadly. "You're right of course. I should go"

"Don't be silly" Doug said, pulling the covers off the bed. "Come on, just lay with me a minute, yeah?"

"My sleep's been pretty messed up" Seth agreed, lying down with Doug in the bed. "I wake up every few hours, nightmares"

"I had the same, with Bex" Doug took a deep, shuddering breath.

"This must bring it all back for you"

"It does. But you're more important right now. My grief can wait"

"We have each other, that's enough" Seth curled against Doug's side, closing his eyes. "Thank you" he whispered, snuffling a little.

"What for?"

"Being here"

Doug kissed the top of Seth's head. "Of course"

The moment was perfect. Seth fell sound asleep and Doug felt comforted in the fact that he could do this little thing for him to ease the pain. The only problem was that having Seth here with him brought back every feeling he had tried to bury since they had broken up. More than that, he had so badly wanted to kiss him when Seth had tried but he knew it wasn't right. Not only because of Heidi, but because of Ethan. Doug felt like he was betraying both of them and he had no idea what to do about it. He was torn, that was certain, and right now he could see no way out of his predicament.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

A few weeks passed by. Seth found himself adjusting slowly to normal life. It baffled him how things seemed to continue when something so fundamentally important had been altered. Riley struggled a great deal with Mercedes and the baby. Seth was the first to say he wasn't Mercedes' biggest fan but he did feel sorry for her after everything that his Granddad had done to her. Besides, having Bobby around lifted the sombre mood in the pub somewhat and right now any brightness in an otherwise dull existence for them was welcome.

Seth found himself at Doug's place a lot; it was almost a safe haven for him. Doug was home frequently and Seth still wasn't ready to return to college just yet so they had a great deal of time together. It was awkward whenever Ethan returned home. Doug and Seth would be having a perfectly nice time watching a film or eating a takeaway and then Ethan would walk through the door, normally grunting something and going to his room but more often than not lingering in the kitchen to stare at them from the corner of his eye, sometimes with Leanne and Texas.

Seth kept asking Doug to talk to him but Doug made excuses for him; he was tired, he was guilty over Silas. None of that washed with Seth. He would have confronted him himself if Doug hadn't begged him not to. For now he would bite his tongue, difficult as it was.

"How are things at home?" Doug asked as they sat playing a board game one afternoon; Seth liked to keep busy at all times.

Seth shrugged. "Fine. Quiet mostly. Mitzeee's been a big help, surprisingly"

"Oh yeah?" Doug smiled. "She's alright, isn't she?"

"Yeah..." Seth sighed. "I can't help but feel she's trying to be..." Seth trailed off but Doug understood his meaning.

"No one will ever be her" he said softly, taking Seth's hand across the table.

At that moment, Ethan walked through the door. He stopped short at the sight of their hands.

"I'll be upstairs" he said gruffly.

"Oh don't worry, I'm off home now" Seth stood up, smiling encouragingly at Doug. "I'll call you later, alright?"

Doug nodded, seeing him to the door. Seth leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Don't let him make you feel bad, okay?"

Doug nodded, blushing a little. "Course. Probably should have a word actually..."

"Whatever you think is best" Seth smiled, closing the door after him.

xxx

Doug turned to Ethan, a resigned look upon his face. Ethan stared blankly back at him.

"Something wrong?"

"Do you have to be so blatant? Seth knows!"

"About us?" Ethan asked hopefully.

"No. That you have a problem with him"

"Oh" Ethan sighed. "I can't help how I feel"

"How is any of this Seth's fault, really?" Doug countered. "Just back off, alright?"

"You don't know how hard it is seeing you two together"

"His Mum's just died!"

"It's more than that though" Ethan retorted, stepping towards Doug. "You still have feelings for him"

"Of course I do" Doug muttered. "You don't just switch that kind of thing off"

"So do you still have feelings for me then?" Ethan asked, his eyes twinkling. Doug backed away from him a little, wary.

"I'm not doing this right now, Ethan"

"Why not? I need to know one way or the other, Doug"

"Well, tough" Doug answered petulantly. Ethan couldn't help but find his pout adorable.

"Doug..." he began, stepping ever closer. "Please. I know I haven't been ideal company lately but I'll do better, I promise"

Doug rolled his eyes. "Just stop being funny with Seth. I don't want him to suspect anything. God, do I hate lying to him"

"You have no choice, it'd crush him and he's been through enough"

"I know that" Doug rubbed at his eyes tiredly. "It's just hard. I don't know what to do. How to be there for him"

"You can only do your best"

"I need you to stop pushing me as well" Doug said, his eyes flashing. "Please"

"I'm sorry" Ethan murmured. "Being near you every day and not understanding what my feelings mean..." Ethan stepped even closer. "I just need something. Anything"

Doug looked into his eyes, his expression softening. "I'm sorry you're hurting. It wasn't my intention. Do you want me to move out?"

"No! God, no" Ethan shook his head furiously, almost grasping Doug's arms but managing to stop himself. "I just need to know there's some light at the end of this"

"And I just need _time_" Doug sighed. Ethan nodded, bowing his head.

There was silence for some time. Ethan could feel how close Doug was to him and it was almost stifling, the need he felt for him. He was startled by two gentle fingers tilting his chin up, the look in Doug's blue eyes unmistakeable and breathtaking.

"Doug..." Ethan whispered in awe.

Doug placed a finger over his lips before pressing his mouth gently against Ethan's, pouring himself into that one kiss. Ethan pulled him closer by the waist, wanting to absorb every inch of him. It was only momentary however; Doug seemed to pull away short, as though surprised by his own actions. Ethan felt the burn of where Doug's lips had once been, and felt cold from when he had once been so near.

"I shouldn't have done that" Doug whispered.

"But it felt right, didn't it?" Ethan asked, his voice husky.

"I have to go" Doug said, tearing himself away and out the door in a flash. Ethan wanted to go after him but he knew he ought to give him some space, at least for now.

As troubling as the whole situation was, Ethan couldn't help but feel elated at the fact that Doug had kissed him. It had reaffirmed every feeling he had experienced since they had slept together. He should have known such joy would be short-lived.

The next day on his way home from lunch, Ethan spotted Doug and Seth outside The Dog sharing a drink and looking very cosy. He spied Doug patting Seth's arm affectionately and saw the shine in Seth's gaze. The openness of his love for him was overwhelming; Ethan couldn't imagine being that bare to someone. After his failed attempts at relationships in the past, Ethan had promised himself he wouldn't fall for anyone again and yet here he was, right on the edge of it...

At that moment, Ethan was startled by a voice behind him. He sighed in resignation. Just what he needed right now.

"DC Scott" the Irish voice intoned.

Ethan turned slowly. "Brendan Brady"

He was struck immediately by his beard. "You look well"

"Ye know me, Detective. I'm a cockroach"

"Excuse me?"

"Can't get rid of the bugger" Brendan grinned wolfishly, looking over Ethan's shoulder. "They look _happy_" He said as though the word held no meaning for him.

Ethan followed his gaze. They had leaned in close, Seth whispering something in Doug's ear. When Ethan turned back to Brendan, he was startled to see him staring at him intently.

"Why don't ye man up and tell him how ye feel?"

Ethan wanted to tell him he had no idea what he was talking about but he knew it was fruitless. There was no fooling Brendan Brady. At that moment, Ste walked in their direction.

"Why don't you?" Ethan answered smugly, nodding behind him.

Brendan turned, his jaw twitching but otherwise he showed no sign of emotion.

"Nice chat" he said brusquely, walking towards Ste.

Ethan went in the opposite direction, towards Doug and Seth. He sat himself down rather noticeably beside Doug, taking a swig of his drink.

"Alright?" He smiled, taking in Seth's hostile expression and Doug's uncomfortable one.

"Not at work, Ethan?" Seth asked through gritted teeth.

"Lunch break" Ethan said smoothly, sliding his knee against Doug's. Doug shuffled away from him.

"We were about to leave anyway" Seth said pointedly.

"Oh yeah? Got something nice planned?"

Seth smiled happily at Doug. "We were going to go for a walk down the park"

"Sounds fun..." Ethan murmured.

"Ethan!" Doug exclaimed.

"Will you be home for dinner tonight, Doug?" Ethan asked, swiftly changing the subject. "I was thinking of cooking us something nice"

"Oh, yeah" Doug looked baffled for a moment. "That would be great, thanks"

"Actually, Doug..." Seth began. "I was going to ask if you wanted to come to ours for dinner tonight. Riley's been asking after you"

"Oh" Doug looked torn. "I don't know..."

Ethan's bravado began to falter. "It's fine. You go to Seth's. We can eat together any time"

"You sure?" Doug looked at Ethan carefully.

"Course. No worries"

Doug smiled, grateful. "I'll see you later tonight then?"

Ethan nodded, watching the two of them rise from their seats and walk away together.

He headed straight back to work after that, spotting Brendan on his way, leaning against a wall. He almost commented until he realised how utterly broken he seemed in his own privacy. Ethan had no right to comment, considering his own situation.

The moment he realised he could relate to Brendan Brady was certainly an eye-opener. Ethan couldn't carry on this way, he simply wouldn't. Maybe it was time to take the Irishman's advice and tell Doug how he really felt.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

Doug felt somewhat on edge when he and Seth walked to the park. He was going to have to talk to Ethan again later; he really was pushing it lately. Seth seemed content enough however, if not distracted. Doug noticed how he would be there with him one moment and then the next his eyes would glaze over and he would be somewhere else entirely.

It was understandable and yet it grieved Doug to think on it. Seth's smiles always had the tinge of sadness to them, like the one he was wearing now. Doug reached across to take his hand, hoping that the familiar comfort would lighten both of their hearts.

"What's for dinner tonight then?" Doug asked conversationally, noting that Seth's hand was soft and warm, like he remembered.

"Hm?" Seth asked absently. "Oh, whatever Mitzeee cooks up"

"I don't mind cooking" Doug offered. "Give Mitzeee a break"

Seth turned to him, his smile soft. "That would be nice. Mitzeee's not exactly a domestic Goddess, you know?"

Doug smirked. "Hell of a woman though"

Seth grimaced. "She's a relation, Doug"

"Not to me she isn't" Doug retorted. Seth gave him a playful shove.

"Do I have to fight to keep you?" He asked, laughing.

Doug's eyebrows rose. "I didn't know I was yours to keep"

Seth flushed, turning away. "Sorry. Habit" he murmured.

"Its fine" Doug replied, rubbing his thumb over Seth's hand.

Seth sighed. "Ethan was out in full force today, wasn't he?"

Doug winced. "I did speak to him about that"

"He didn't listen then" Seth grinned a little.

"You know what he's like. Stubborn to the last" Doug frowned, looking ahead of them. "I'll talk to him again"

"I don't mind-"

"No" Doug interrupted. "Leave him to me"

Seth nodded, allowing the subject to be dropped. "Listen, Doug…" Seth stopped them up short, turning to look at Doug properly.

"What is it?" Doug asked, concerned.

"What are we doing exactly?"

Doug stared at him uncomprehendingly. Seth glanced down at their joined hands to reiterate his point.

"Oh" Doug looked down. "I don't know really…"

"I still…" Seth trailed off, taking a deep breath as though steadying himself. He looked Doug in the eye. "I still want to be with you" he said with utmost conviction. "I know I'm pretty broken right now, and I'm not saying all this to make you feel sorry for me or to make you feel like you ought to get back with me. I'm saying it because the option's there, if you want it. I'm willing to wait, is what I'm saying. I know the way things ended between us before was pretty unforgivable but I'm willing to put it behind us if you are"

"I wasn't exactly at my best during your absence…" Doug admitted, knowing in his heart that it was time to come clean. "Listen, I have to tell you something-"

"Seth?" An incredulous voice rang out in front of them. Doug dropped Seth's hand immediately, recognising the voice.

"Shit" he gasped, stepping back as Riley rounded on them.

"What the hell is this?" He asked, looking between them.

"I can explain, Riley" Doug said, stepping forwards bravely.

"Well someone better!"

"Me and Seth-"

"We're together" Seth piped up, stepping in front of Doug. "At least, we might be" he added, faltering.

Riley looked appalled. "How long has this been going on for?"

"It wasn't planned" Doug said lamely. "We split up before…" he trailed off. "I'm sorry; I didn't know how you'd react"

"Someone should have told me!" Riley exploded. "This is something I should know about! If it wasn't for Ethan telling me where you were-"

"He what?" Doug cut across him. His cheeks flushed in anger. "I'm sorry, Seth. I need to do something" Doug said, determined.

"Good because I need to have a private word with my brother" Riley said, his jaw tightening.

"We'll talk later" Doug promised, giving Seth an encouraging smile that he returned.

Doug stormed round to the police station, not really knowing what he hoped to do.

"Can I speak to DC Scott please? It's important"

The man behind the desk nodded, bored looking. Ethan came out of one of the side rooms shortly after, looking utterly confused.

"Doug? What's wrong?"

"Can I speak to you a moment?" Doug asked through gritted teeth.

Ethan nodded warily, following him outside the station. Doug waited until they were well out of earshot before he rounded on him.

"What are you playing at, Ethan?"

"What?" Ethan asked. "I'm sorry about what happened at lunch-"

"Oh I'm beyond caring about that" Doug interrupted. "You told Riley where to find us"

Ethan looked perplexed. "Well, yeah. He wanted to know where Seth was so I said you went to the park. What's the problem?"

Doug ran his hands angrily through his hair. "You led him right to us! Riley knows now!"

Ethan's expression changed, comprehension dawning on him. "That wasn't my intention. I thought you two were just mates, what was I supposed to think he'd see?"

Doug's eyes flashed dangerously. "He saw enough"

"How is that my fault?" Ethan countered. "What were you doing?" He added, unable to hide the bite of jealousy in his tone.

"It's none of your business!"

"Yes it is! You're my…" Ethan faltered. "Do you really think I did this on purpose?"

"I wouldn't put it past you" Doug mumbled, less sure of himself now.

"Well I didn't" Ethan said, looking hurt. "I wouldn't do that to you, you must know that"

"The way you've been acting lately…"

"Only because I can't bear seeing you with Seth!" Ethan exploded. "Only because since we slept together it's all I've been able to think about. Only because I think I'm falling in love with you"

Doug's mouth gaped disbelievingly. "I can't deal with this" he said, his anger deflating.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you properly…" Ethan looked away. "Clearly you don't feel the same"

"No, Ethan-"

"Just, leave me alone, yeah?" Ethan turned his back on him, retreating into the station.

Doug had the most horrible feeling that he had made a terrible mistake here. It didn't change what he had planned to do before this altercation however; although it made his stomach twist painfully with doubt.

xxx

"Right" Riley began, making sure Seth was seated. "What the hell is going on?"

He couldn't get his head around this. Doug and his little brother? It was unthinkable. How had all this gone on under his nose? Why had no one thought to tell him?

"Me and Doug… we were a couple" Seth began to explain carefully. "And then when Granddad-" Seth cut off, obviously uncomfortable. "I didn't believe what Doug was telling me, and things turned sour"

Riley rolled his eyes at Seth's explanations. Only he could glaze over the most important detail.

"But you were together in the first place? How? When? Why? Are you gay?"

Seth blinked several times. "It just happened, I can't explain it. A few months ago, and because I wanted it to"

"And the last question?"

"I can't really answer that" Seth said, staring at his feet. "I like girls too, so does Doug. But I love him"

Riley had to restrain himself from laughing aloud. "You love him?"

"I'm not some kid anymore, Riley!" Seth jumped out of his seat, apparently hearing the scepticism in Riley's tone.

Riley shook his head in disbelief. "How could you keep this from me? From your family?"

"Our family is full of secrets" Seth said venomously. Riley ran his hands over his face in exasperation.

The door opened at that moment, Mitzeee walking in looking concerned. "What's all the shouting about?"

"Our Seth here has been seeing Doug!"

Mitzeee's perfectly shaped eyebrows rose. "Really? How many gays are there in this village?" She murmured to herself. Riley glared at her. "I'm kidding" she said, looking balefully at him. "Now, it's no reason to get upset, is it? If Seth wants to date Doug, that's his business" Mitzeee placed a supportive arm around Seth's shoulders.

"He's too old for you!" Riley said, his last shot.

"And what was the age gap between you and Mercedes?" Seth countered. "Eight years?"

"Boy's got a point, Riley. Age means nothing these days" Mitzeee said helpfully. "He is sixteen now..."

"That doesn't give him the right to sneak around behind my back" Riley said, collapsing into a chair.

"I am sorry I didn't tell you" Seth said, his voice quieting. "There never seemed to be a right time"

Riley's expression softened. At that moment Doug walked in, looking sheepish.

"Safe to come in?"

"Sure" Riley said, standing again. "Listen. I'm not exactly happy about this but I can't really stop you if it makes you both happy…" he reached out to shake Doug's hand, which he accepted gladly.

"I'm sorry, mate"

"Yeah, well, rather you than some other idiot"

"Hey!" Doug protested, smiling. "I'm still your best mate then?"

"Course" Riley said, giving him a brief embrace. "If the last few weeks have taught me anything, it's that you really need the people you love around you in times like this"

"Couldn't have put it better myself" Doug said, reaching out to take Seth's hand, a moment of understanding passing between them.

Riley averted his eyes. "You staying for dinner then?"

"Yep! And I told Seth I'd be happy to cook" Doug glanced at Mitzeee. "If it's alright by you"

"By all means" Mitzeee said, throwing an apron in his direction. "I'll get Jason" she smiled at Doug and Seth as she went past, slipping them a wink. Riley was suddenly, intensely grateful for her.

"Lasagne?" Doug queried, breaking Riley's daze.

"Perfect" he said, smiling a little at his own dysfunctional family. "Should we ask Ethan round too?"

Doug stared at him for a good ten seconds before he responded. "Ethan's… busy"

Riley shrugged, thinking no more of it.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

Ethan spent the next few days avoiding Doug. It wasn't easy, living together and everything, but Ethan really couldn't deal with the confrontation right now. It wasn't just that either. Seth and Doug were back together, indefinitely. Riley had been the one to tell him, not knowing of Ethan's part in it.

"It's a lot to get my head around" Riley said, smiling and shaking his head. "I mean, my best friend and my _brother_. Can you believe that?"

"No" Ethan said flatly, staring ahead.

"You didn't know then?" Riley asked, tilting his head to the side curiously.

"Oh" Ethan said, taken aback. "Well you know, I live with Doug… he isn't exactly discreet"

"Top bloke though" Riley mused. "At least Seth's found someone decent"

"Mm yeah" Ethan said vaguely. "You know what, mate I'd better head off. Early start tomorrow"

"You've really been putting the hours in lately, haven't you?"

Ethan shrugged. "Least I could do after-" he cut off at the look on Riley's face. "Sorry"

"It's fine" Riley waved his apology aside. "I'll catch you later then?"

"Yeah course" Ethan downed the rest of his drink, standing. He caught Brendan's eye at the bar, who was smiling at him knowingly. He really was infuriating.

Ethan walked home, hands in his pockets. It was a quiet night; he hadn't realised how late it was. He saw a group of girls huddled together underneath an umbrella. He hadn't even noticed that it was raining. They giggled as he walked past, one of them giving him the once over. Ethan was tempted to go over to her but something stopped him. He wasn't that guy anymore. He didn't want a meaningless fling, or to try and forget who he really wanted through someone else.

He idly began to wonder if he would ever get over Doug. He hadn't even realised how hard he'd been falling for him. There was just something about him. He was warm, and unfailingly kind. He put others before himself. He was the only one to sit down with Ethan after the Silas business and tell him it wasn't his fault. More than that, he looked at Ethan with complete openness and trust. Ethan wasn't the most articulate of people, he didn't express his feelings well, but Doug made him feel safe, like he could really be himself.

He walked up the steps to the flat, shaking the wet hair out of his eyes. He was soaked through and shivering. The flat was dark when he walked in, only one lamp lit. Doug was spread across the sofa, reading. He looked up as Ethan entered.

"Hi" he said, somewhat nervously.

"You're here" Ethan said lamely, shutting the door behind him.

"Oh" Doug looked shifty, closing his book. "I fancied reading"

"At one am?" Ethan asked sceptically.

Doug blushed. "I wanted to make sure that you got home okay" he said very quietly.

Ethan stared at him, unsure how to respond. "I didn't know you cared" he found himself saying, carefully taking his soaked jacket off.

Doug frowned, about to respond until he saw the state of Ethan. "You're soaked through!" He rushed towards him.

"I'm fine" Ethan said gruffly. Doug ignored him.

"You have to get these off before you catch your death" He hastily began unbuttoning Ethan's shirt.

"Doug!" Ethan practically yelped, grabbing his wrists. "Please stop undressing me" he was flushed all over, unable to contain his embarrassment. Doug stepped away, mortified.

"Sorry" he mumbled. "I'll just, uh, make you a coffee or something"

"I won't sleep-"

"Hot chocolate then" Doug offered. "I fancy one myself"

"Alright" Ethan reluctantly agreed. "I'll go get changed first"

Doug beamed at him, a little too eagerly. "I'll be here"

He returned downstairs to Doug sitting on the sofa, mug in hand. Ethan sat beside him, feeling more than a little uncomfortable.

"Here" Doug handed him his steaming mug.

"Thanks" Ethan murmured, taking a small sip.

"I wanted to talk to you…" Doug began awkwardly.

Ethan sighed. "It's fine. You don't need to explain"

"I do" Doug insisted. "I'm sorry about what I said to you, I was out of order"

"I should have handled it better" Ethan admitted. "It's just…hard" he put his drink down. "But you and Seth are together and you're happy, that's what counts"

"I'm sorry" Doug said again, placing a hand over Ethan's. Ethan looked at him, unable to break their gaze. "Can we be friends again?"

Ethan looked away first, unable to stare into Doug's eyes without feeling a tingle up his spine. "Of course"

"You're sure?"

"Positive"

Doug breathed a sigh of relief. "I suppose you need to go to bed?"

Ethan considered this. "No, I'm not tired really" this was a complete lie of course.

"You wanna stay up and watch a film? There's a horror I was flicking on and off" Doug grabbed the remote. "It's one of those really crappy ones; more gore than plot"

"Sounds like our kind of film" Ethan commented, settling down. Doug grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa, throwing it over their legs.

"Just like old times" he said happily.

"Yeah" Ethan agreed, feeling lighter than he had in days.

Ethan only managed half an hour of the film before he started drifting off to sleep. He woke the next morning, somehow in Doug's arms. Blearily looking over at the clock, Ethan was relieved to note it was only half seven. He really didn't want to move; Doug had his arms tightly wrapped around him, sleeping soundly. He allowed himself five minutes before he carefully extricated himself, pulling the blanket over Doug's sleeping form.

He went to grab a coffee before work, accidentally bumping into someone on the way.

"Sorry" he said automatically, only then realising it was Seth.

"Well that's nice to hear" Seth said, crossing his arms.

"Ah well, I am" Ethan said lamely. "I'm sorry"

Seth's expression softened. "I don't particularly like you" he said bluntly. "But I'm willing to put my feelings to one side for Doug's sake. He won't hear a bad word against you" Seth rolled his eyes, but there was affection in his voice. Ethan understood the sentiment.

"Same" Ethan said, holding out his hand. "Truce then?"

Seth shook it, eyeing him. "For Doug"

"For Doug" Ethan echoed.

"Is he up yet? I'm going round there now" Seth asked.

"Oh" Ethan said, thinking quickly and opting for the truth "He fell asleep on the sofa. I expect the girls have woken him up by now"

Seth tutted. "Trust him to do that. Watching some crap on telly I expect?"

"Yeah" Ethan smiled, a little strained.

"Any message for him?" Seth asked, beginning to move away.

Ethan shook his head. "Just that I'll be back for dinner"

"I'll see you there then. I'm cooking for us"

"Great" Ethan said, forcing the smile back on his face.

"It's a good job we made up, I expect we'll be seeing a lot of each other" Seth smiled easily. Ethan felt a twinge of guilt.

"I'm glad. Doug will be pleased"

Seth nodded, flashing him a grin before he walked away. Ethan felt intensely guilty for some reason about this morning. It was nothing though, entirely innocent. Or so Ethan told himself as he walked on to work, deep in thought.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

A/N: Sorry it's taken so long to update! I have a clear idea where I want this story to go in any case :) I may not be sticking completely to the show's canon, just in case people get a little confused.

Chapter Sixteen

"Seth! You're late!"

Seth was hastily doing up his laces, his fingers fumbling slightly.

"One minute!"

He grabbed his bag and pushed open his door. Riley thrust a brown paper bag into his hands.

"What's this?" Seth asked, eyeing it warily.

"Lunch"

Seth couldn't help but smile. "Really? You made me lunch?"

Riley frowned, snatching the bag off of him. "If you don't want it…"

"No, I do" Seth said quickly, grabbing it back. "What have I got then?"

Riley grinned. "Cheese sandwiches and some fruit"

"Am I five?" Seth asked ironically.

Riley frowned again. "I put in a chocolate bar…"

Seth grinned, looking inside. His smile faded.

"What is it?"

"You cut them into little squares, like Mum used to" Seth felt his eyes prickling.

"I can change them" Riley said hastily, sounding stricken.

"No, don't" Seth wiped at his eyes, managing a small smile. "It's great, thank you"

Riley smiled, pulling him into a bear hug. "You and Bobby are the only ones keeping me going right now you know"

"What about Mitzeee?"

"Her too"

"I miss Jason" Seth mumbled against Riley's chest.

"Me too, mate" Riley pulled away, his expression odd. "Listen, there's something I wanted to talk to you about-"

"Hey guys" Doug walked through the door, stopping short at the sight of their faces. "Oh did I interrupt something?"

"It's fine" Riley pulled back, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

"I can come back later…?" Doug backed towards the door.

"Don't worry about it, Seth's late as it is"

"Yeah, how come you're here anyway?" Seth asked.

"Thought I'd walk you to College" Doug smiled sweetly. "Here, let me" he took Seth's bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"What a gentleman" Seth grinned, linking arms with Doug.

"What was all that about?" Doug asked once they were outside.

"Oh" Seth scuffed his shoes along the pavement. "Just brother stuff"

Doug's eyebrows knitted together. "Anything I can help with?"

Seth shook his head, smiling up at Doug and brushing his blonde hair away from his forehead. "I forgot to style it"

Doug reached over to run his fingers through it. "Looks fine to me"

They turned a corner, almost bumping into someone.

"Watch it!"

"Sorry" Doug said sheepishly, taking in Ste's ruffled demeanour. "You alright?"

"I'm fine" Ste mumbled, running his hands through his hair agitatedly. "Ethan's looking for you" he told Doug. "He's back at yours"

"What were you doing round there?" Seth blurted out. Ste glared at him.

"Thanks" Doug said quickly.

Ste nodded, continuing on his way.

"What does Ethan want now?" Seth asked, rolling his eyes.

"Oh I'm sure it's nothing"

"You want me to walk on to College?" Seth offered. "So you can go see him?"

"No!" Doug said sharply, wincing at the outburst. "I mean no, I said I'd walk with you. Ethan can wait a minute"

"Alright" Seth grinned, wondering why Doug was so tetchy. "Want me to come round after?"

"Sounds great" Doug replied, looking a little distracted.

"I'll bring takeout?" Seth pressed, squeezing his hand.

Doug came back to reality. "Yeah, thanks"

Xxx

Doug headed straight back to the flat once he had seen Seth off. For some reason he felt uneasy. A few weeks had passed since he and Ethan had fallen asleep together; Doug hadn't allowed himself to get into that position again, opting instead to avoid being alone with him at all costs. Ethan didn't even know that he remembered it but it was impossible to forget. Doug still often felt like Ethan's body was pressed against his own, it was dangerous territory.

He unlocked the door, walking in without looking up.

"Ste said you wanted-" his speech cut off when he glanced up. Ethan was dripping wet, a white towel wrapped around his waist. Doug immediately looked away, blushing furiously.

"You took your time" Ethan said, walking towards him.

"I, uh, walked Seth to College" Doug said awkwardly, looking fixedly at his shoes.

"Ah" Ethan was only a few feet from him. "Are you going to look at me?"

Doug laughed nervously, it sounded more like a giggle. He dragged his eyes to Ethan's face. "What is it then?"

Ethan smiled at him amusedly. "I managed to get you that temp job at work, you know, in the office?"

"Oh!" Doug's face split into a grin.

"It wasn't easy" Ethan said, running his hand through his hair. "If they ask, you've worked in an office before and please do not mention about the drugs business"

Doug shook his head in disbelief. "Like I would! This is brilliant, thanks so much" Doug launched himself at Ethan without thinking, almost dislodging the towel from his waist. He pulled away hastily, his mortification evident.

"I'm sorry" he mumbled, trying not to look Ethan in the eye.

Ethan waved his hand, his ears distinctly red. "No problem" his voice came out unnaturally high. He coughed. "It's fine"

"So when do I start?"

"Next week, if that's alright" Ethan moved a few steps back. "Your desk is near mine… it was the only available one"

"No problem"

"You'll mostly just do basic stuff, getting coffee and sorting through the mail"

"A job's a job" Doug replied happily. They stood awkwardly for several moments.

"I'm gonna go get dressed" Ethan said eventually, backing away.

"Yep, great" Doug moved towards the sofa, breathing a huge sigh of relief once Ethan had disappeared upstairs.

Xxx

"Guess what?" Doug asked Seth the moment he stepped through the door.

"What?"

"I have a job!"

"Doug, that's brilliant!" Seth embraced him happily. "Where?"

"At the police station with Ethan"

Seth's smile faded. "You aren't a copper, Doug"

"I know, stupid" Doug gave him an affectionate shove. "It's only office stuff, temporary"

Seth was still frowning. "With Ethan?"

"Yeah" Doug's enthusiasm began to deflate. "He's really trying, you know"

"I know" Seth smiled a little uneasily.

"What is it?" Doug asked, concerned.

"You two working together all the time…" Seth shrugged. "I'm being paranoid"

"No, no it's okay…" Doug's stomach dropped. "He's just being a mate"

"I know and I trust you, completely" Seth wrapped an arm around his waist. "Forget I said anything, okay?"

Doug nodded, giving Seth a long, sweet kiss.

"I can't stay too long, Riley wanted to talk"

"That's fine" Doug said, getting the plates out. "Is it serious?"

"Oh I shouldn't think so" Seth replied, going to the fridge. "He has been acting a bit weird lately though, I think this Mercedes thing is getting to him"

"I'm not surprised" Doug commented. "He'll be alright though?"

"I hope so" Seth sat down, frowning at his food. "He hasn't been the same since-" He cut off awkwardly.

"I know" Doug said softly.

Ethan walked through the door, glancing over at them with their dinner. "Save me some?"

"Course" Doug answered automatically. Seth stared at him. "What?"

"Nothing" Seth said pointedly, shovelling food into his mouth.

Xxx

Once Seth had left, Ethan came downstairs. Doug wordlessly handed him his dinner.

"Thanks. He didn't stay long"

"Riley wanted a word" Doug said, plonking himself down on the sofa. He watched Ethan eat eagerly. "Hungry?"

"Long day" Ethan said, sitting beside Doug.

"I appreciate what you did for me, by the way"

Ethan felt warmth spread through his stomach. "Course. It's what mates do, isn't it?"

"Yeah" Doug said, sounding unsure. "That's what we are right, mates?"

"What else?" Ethan found himself saying, looking at Doug carefully.

"Seth was a little worried, that's all"

"Why should he be? He has you" Ethan clamped his mouth shut. "Sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Forget it" Doug smiled, looking exhausted. "I just don't want any weirdness between us"

"Me neither" Ethan agreed quickly. He put his plate down on the coffee table. He held out his hand. "Mates?"

Doug smiled, pushing his hand aside and drawing Ethan towards him. "Mates" he said softly. Ethan held him, his nose buried into his shoulder. Mates shouldn't smell this good, or feel this warm. This wasn't helping one bit; Ethan drew away first, averting his eyes but putting on his best smile.

This was far from over.

Xxx

"I'm back!" Seth slammed the door shut.

"Shh, Bobby's asleep"

"Oh sorry" Seth whispered. "You've got him tonight then?"

"Yeah" Riley looked awkward.

"You wanted to talk?"

"You'd better sit down"

"Okay…"

Riley clasped his hands across the table. "You know I said about Leeds and possibly moving there?"

"Yeah…" Seth had put the thought from his mind, not really contemplating the idea of leaving Doug behind.

"They've accepted me" Riley barrelled on. "And Mercedes she… she wants me to take Bobby with us"

Seth gaped. "What?"

"I know it's a lot to get your head around, but I really think this is what's best for us, best for Bobby"

"Mercedes can't just give him to you…" Seth was utterly perplexed.

"She is"

"But why?"

"She can't cope and Seth, I want to be a good Dad to him, I have to be"

"I get that but… I can't just leave!"

Riley looked away. "Because of Doug?"

"Yes!"

"Seth… you know I love Doug, he's a top bloke, but we could have a fresh start in Leeds, as a family"

"This is a lot to take in" Seth sat back in his chair, eyes vacant, mouth gaping.

"I know, and I don't expect you to answer straight away"

Seth looked at him uncomprehendingly. "How long do I have to decide?" It was unthinkable that it was even a choice.

"Few days?" Riley answered, wincing. "I'm sorry I've sprung this on you, mate"

Seth shook his head in disbelief. "You can say that again…"

"Just don't rule it out completely. Maybe you and Doug could figure something out, long-distance relationship or something, Leeds isn't that far"

"Hm" Seth replied absently.

"I need to check on Bobby. Give it some thought, yeah?" Riley clapped him on the shoulder. Seth nodded vaguely.

His fingers itched to call Doug and tell him what was going on but something stopped him. He needed some time to think this through himself before he unloaded it onto Doug. He couldn't see Doug being too happy about it in any case and he needed to think of the right way to break the news to him. _I'm making it sound like I've already decided _Seth thought furiously to himself.

Sure, Riley had mentioned the idea a while ago and Seth had considered it, especially after Jason had left. But then him and Doug had grown close again and the idea of leaving him was unbearable… But on the other hand, Seth knew Riley couldn't stay here any longer after everything that had happened, and if Seth was honest with himself, it played heavily on his mind as well.

He burrowed his face into his hands and groaned. What a mess everything was. Why did life have to be so bloody difficult all the time? Why did choices like these come at the worst possible moment, and leave people despairing and torn? That was life all over, Seth thought. Things were never easy it seemed. His Mum had always taught him that; stand proud and let life do its worst. But then she had always been about keeping up appearances too. Seth sighed, rubbing at his face angrily. If it wasn't for Silas, this wouldn't be happening. Seth and Doug would never have split up, Riley would not want to leave… and most importantly, his Mum would be alive, holding him and comforting him through the big decisions in life.

Seth raised his head, wiping at his eyes. He wouldn't let her down. He would be a man about this, make a real decision based on what was right. It was just… he was only sixteen. He wasn't a man yet, he felt as though he had aged many years in the past few months but he was still just a boy. A confused boy who only wanted his Mum to be here and tell him everything was going to be alright. Seth squared his jaw; defiance filtering across his face. No. He wouldn't give in to the feeling of helplessness. He was a Costello, that still counted for something. He looked over at Heidi's picture on the mantelpiece, gave a decisive nod and stood up, ready to face everything.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Doug spun excitedly on his chair several times, grinning broadly. Ethan gave him a measured look.

"What?" Doug asked, continuing.

"You're making me dizzy" Ethan told him, gripping the arm of the chair. "I need to run over your duties for today"

"Ooh get you telling me what to do, Mr Boss Man"

Ethan rolled his eyes. "Just helping you out, mate…"

Doug clasped his hands in front of him, straightening and looking attentive. "I'm all ears, boss"

Ethan sighed. "This morning I'd just like you to sort through some paperwork. And then deliver the appropriate paperwork to the right officer. Got that?"

"Should I be writing this down?" Doug smirked. "Kidding! I've got it. Anything else?"

"After we get lunch" Ethan said, leaning back in his chair.

"Anything nice?"

"Your choice, new boy"

"Excellent" Doug clapped his hands together. "I'll get cracking then"

Ethan smiled to himself as he watched Doug getting stuck in to his mound of paperwork to sort through. His tongue poked out a little in concentration, his eyebrows furrowed. Ethan found himself strangely fascinated by them.

Doug glanced up, amused. "May I help you?"

Ethan blushed a little. "Just making sure you're working hard"

"Right" Doug replied, unconvinced.

Ethan looked back at his own work, acutely aware of how close Doug was.

"How's Seth?" He asked eventually, not really knowing why.

Doug paused. "Fine. Bit distant…"

"Yeah?" Ethan turned to look at him.

"He said we need to talk later, I don't know what about…" Doug bit his lip.

"I'm sure it's nothing"

"Mm"

Ethan turned around again, trying to calm the beating in his heart at Doug's words.

"He'll talk to you after work then?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Want me to clear out?"

Doug considered this. "Might be wise"

Ethan nodded, continuing with his work quietly until lunchtime.

"I'll make us something at home if you like" Doug offered.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Saves a bit of money" Doug collected his things, heading towards the door. "Hey, you don't think…" he trailed off, uncertain. "No forget it actually"

"No what?" Ethan pressed.

Doug sighed, turning back. "You don't think Seth's gonna break up with me do you?" He asked quietly.

Ethan was speechless for several moments.

"I shouldn't be asking you this…" Doug added, shaking his head and laughing.

"No it's fine. I'm sure it isn't that, why would he?"

"Maybe he…" Doug trailed off again, frowning. He shook his head to clear it. "No" he murmured to himself. Ethan stared at him, hardly able to take his eyes off of him.

"Doug?"

Doug looked at Ethan as if only just realising he was still there. "Don't worry. Let's just get some lunch, I'm sure to find out what it really is later…"

Ethan nodded, not daring to press it any further.

Xxx

Doug crashed out on the sofa when he got home. He'd spent the afternoon running around the office, delivering the correct paperwork to each officer. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't knocked half of them on the floor resulting in double the work.

He managed to doze off for a while; his dreams encompassing what his mind wouldn't allow him to accept. Ethan featured prominently. Doug's dream mind repeated their time together; their first unexpected kiss, their first time, what followed after…

New images began to form. Doug pressed against the wall, Ethan's face inches from his own, their breath intermingling. Ethan on top of him, muscles rippling, his taut stomach laid across Doug's own. Teeth at his throat, kisses down his chest. Sucking at his earlobe. Erection pressed against his thigh. Doug was desperate, clinging to him in every conceivable away, urging him in deeper, harder. He would whimper and choke out words of encouragement, Ethan stroking his skin and kissing his hair. The climax would be sweet and desperate, Doug found himself throwing his arms around Ethan's neck afterwards, holding on for dear life.

"I love you" he murmured.

"What a lovely greeting"

Doug jerked awake, eyes wide. It took him a few moments to realise that he was awake, Seth was beside him, and that his trousers were suspiciously damp…

"Seth!" he spluttered, covering his lap with a cushion hastily. "What are you doing here?"

"We arranged for me to come over, remember?" Seth looked at him in affectionate amusement.

"Right" Doug muttered, shaking his head. "Of course"

"Do you need a minute?" Seth asked, raising his eyebrows at Doug's appropriately placed cushion.

"I'm fine" Doug said, not daring to move just yet. "What's up?"

Seth suddenly became serious. "I have some… news"

Doug nodded slowly. "What is it? Is it bad?"

Seth glanced away, unsure of himself. "I don't know how to tell you…"

"Seth, you're scaring me now" Doug said urgently, grabbing Seth's arm. "Tell me"

"I…" Seth took a deep breath. "Riley wants us to move away"

Doug was stunned for a moment. Thoughts of his dream flew completely out of his mind, leaving only a hollow feeling of despair at Seth's words.

"What did you tell him?" He asked quietly.

"I said I'd have to think about it"

Doug felt a flare of anger rise in him, as well as guilt at daring to feel anger at Seth after what he had just dreamt.

"What's there to think about?" Doug asked, his voice low. "Just go, if it's what you want"

Seth blinked several times. "You want me to go?"

"Of course not!" Doug's cheeks flushed red. "But if it's want you want"

"I didn't say it was" Seth said calmly. "Only that I was considering it"

"The fact you have to at all is telling enough" Doug mumbled, knowing he was being unfair.

Seth stood up. "I came here to ask for your help in making a huge decision about my life. This could be our fresh start after everything we've been through. Riley, me and Bobby. If you don't get that…"

"I do get that, Seth" Doug said, twisting in his seat. "But where does it leave us?"

"Long distance?" Seth suggested, but he didn't sound certain.

"Where are you going?"

"Leeds"

Doug rolled his eyes.

"It isn't far!"

Doug said nothing, crossing his arms.

"If you're going to be like this…"

"How else do you expect me to react?" Doug countered. "This is huge. When would you even be leaving?"

Seth shrugged. "Pretty soon…"

Doug's eyebrows shot into his hair. "Days? Weeks?"

"Days" Seth murmured.

"Oh brilliant" Doug said sarcastically.

"I only just found out about it"

"Well that makes it all better"

Seth's face flashed with anger. "You are unbelievable! I came here hoping to have a mature conversation with my boyfriend and instead I get this! Well forget it, I'll see you around" Seth promptly stormed out of the flat.

Doug stood up abruptly, the cushion falling to the floor. "Seth!" He called out after him, to no avail.

Xxx

Ethan came home to the shower running. He'd stayed out as long as he could but he was growing hungry. He popped in a microwave meal and flicked through the TV guide as the shower was switched off.

Doug came down the stairs, towel wrapped around his waist. He frowned at Ethan.

"I thought I heard someone"

"I stayed out as long as I could" Ethan told him, taking his meal out of the microwave. "Where's Seth?" His stomach dropped as he realised Seth was probably in the shower too, or in Doug's room.

Doug looked down at his feet. "He's gone" he said, his voice very quiet.

"Gone?" Ethan repeated. "What do you mean?"

"Riley wants them to move to Leeds" Doug said, sitting on the edge of the sofa. "It's over"

Ethan allowed this to settle in before carefully approaching Doug. "He's left already?"

"No but he will"

"He told you this?"

"We had a fight" Doug said, his eyelashes catching the tears before Ethan even knew they were falling.

"Oh, Doug" Ethan said softly, throwing caution to the wind as he sat beside him, pulling him towards his body. "He might still come round"

"He won't" Doug said miserably. "And besides that, I'm a terrible person"

"Why?" Ethan asked, stunned.

Doug looked up, his bottom lip quivering a little. It took Ethan several moments to recognise the look.

"Oh" he said dumbly, before he felt Doug's lips over his own.

Doug pulled away almost immediately. Ethan could taste his tears on his tongue. Or maybe they were his own, it was hard to tell. His arms were still around Doug, unable to release him.

"We shouldn't, I'm sorry"

Ethan nodded, bowing his head to hide his disappointment. "Why did you…" he trailed off, his voice hoarse. "You kissed me"

"It's… I…" Doug looked distraught.

"Do you… do you love me?" Ethan asked, his voice shaky with emotion.

Doug bowed his head once more unable to answer. Ethan tilted his chin up with his fingertips.

"Please, Doug. I need to know"

Doug gave the barest of nods before falling back into Ethan's arms, allowing him to hold him close, kissing the top of his head and closing his eyes, the tears falling fast.

"What on earth is going on?"

They sprung apart, Ethan still somehow clinging onto Doug's arm as they turned.

"Seth!" Doug's eyes were wide and guilty. There was no talking themselves out of this one. Ethan found he didn't even want to anymore.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

A/N: Final chapter! Sorry this story took so long to get finished. Hope you enjoy :)

Chapter Eighteen

"Seth I'm so sorry" Doug began immediately.

"I knew it" Seth muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. "I knew he was after you!"

"It's not his fault-"

"Like hell it isn't!" Seth made a lunge for Ethan, Doug stood in front of him and held him back.

"This isn't helping, Seth!"

"Waited to make your move did you? Bet you were wetting yourself with excitement over me leaving, knowing you'd have him all to yourself again" Seth spat.

"Seth, please-"

"No, Doug. I'm not having him take advantage of you like this!"

"Seth" Doug said, quieter, gentler. "It was me. I kissed him"

Seth blinked several times, uncomprehendingly. "You can't have" he said faintly.

"Maybe I should go…" Ethan said, stepping from behind Doug.

"Yeah maybe you should!" Seth yelled angrily at him.

Ethan gritted his teeth. "I don't care what you think of me, but don't take it out on Doug"

"Don't you tell me how to be with my own boyfriend!"

Ethan rolled his eyes and walked past them. "Call me if you need me" he said softly, looking directly at Doug. Doug nodded, watching him leave.

As the door shut behind him, Doug took Seth's hands in his own.

"Can we sit?"

Seth nodded numbly, allowing himself to be led towards the sofa. He couldn't get his head around this, at all. As if things weren't hard enough.

"I need you to be completely honest with me" he said in a shaky voice. "Please"

"I am, I will" Doug promised, squeezing his hands. "I'll tell you everything"

"How long?" Seth asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"After we broke up, me and Ethan…" Doug trailed off, biting his lip. "I kissed him"

Seth let this sink in. "And then?"

"We slept together" Doug said, taking a long, drawn breath. "I'm sorry"

"You weren't too cut up about me then" Seth laughed humourlessly.

"I was! I was devastated"

"And Ethan filled that void?"

"No. No it wasn't like that…"

"Then what was it like, Doug? I'm really trying to understand here"

"I know, I'm really trying it's just… I love you, you know that?"

"I thought I did" Seth couldn't get the image of Ethan and Doug together out of his mind. Was it better than what they had? Of course it was. Ethan was older, more experienced… Seth was just a teenager. Except he had never felt so old in his life these past few months.

Doug touched his forehead as though reading his thoughts. "I do. You have to believe me on that"

Seth's expression clouded. "And Ethan? Do you love him too?"

Doug hesitated. "I…don't know" he said eventually.

"The truth, remember?"

Doug sighed, looking away. His eyes were moist with tears, the blue shining all the more serenely.

"Yes" he said with utmost conviction. "I don't know how or why but I do…"

Seth stared down at his hands. "More than me?" He asked quietly.

"No!" Doug grabbed his hands in his own. "It's just… different"

"You can't have us both" Seth said plainly, alarmed at how dead his voice sounded. "You have to choose"

Doug gripped his hands that little bit tighter. "I don't want this to end"

"It doesn't have to" Seth said, but he wasn't sure. Doug had hurt him badly; he was one of the few people Seth thought he could trust and once again he had been let down.

"I don't know what to do"

Seth looked up at him, his smile small and watery. "You need time to think" he made to leave but Doug held him fast.

"Stay. I know I have no right but-"

"Okay" Seth said, hardly knowing if he had the ability to stand anyway. He took a deep breath. "I came round to apologise, by the way"

"You don't have anything-"

"I do, I didn't handle the whole moving away thing well at all"

"It's a lot to deal with" Doug replied softly. "I was the jerk"

"You weren't"

"How can you be so nice to me still?"

Seth shrugged. "I feel oddly calm"

It was true. It wasn't like the calm before the storm, or the deadly calm before complete meltdown, it was a resolution. Acceptance. Seth had a feeling where this was heading.

"How do you feel when you're with Ethan?"

Doug blinked in surprise. "I don't know really"

"Come on, Doug" Seth nudged him with his elbow.

Doug sighed. "I guess sort of all over the place" he laughed a little breathlessly. "I mean, he's my best friend. But there's just… I don't know" Doug trailed off uncomfortably, the wistful smile on his face replaced with a frown.

"And me?"

Doug turned to him, his expression soft. "Warm. Safe"

Seth nodded, staring at his fingertips. "If I wasn't leaving, would things be different?"

"Are you leaving though?" Doug pressed, his eyes wide.

"I think… yes" Seth nodded, steeling himself. "It's the right thing for my family. I have to"

Doug's gaze dropped. "I think…things would be the same" Doug said carefully.

"You know, don't you?" Seth said, keeping his voice steady.

Doug looked at him. "I'll always love you, you know that"

Seth nodded, trying to keep the tears at bay. "I understand"

"No, listen" Doug fixed him with his sharp blue gaze. "You were perfect, I was the one who screwed up. I should have fought for you after Silas but…" Doug trailed off, unsure.

"It wasn't meant to be" Seth said, taking a deep breath. "In another life maybe"

"I can't help how I feel about him, I wish I could" Doug said sadly.

"I know" Seth said quietly. "It couldn't work, me in Leeds, you here…"

Doug gripped his arm. "I'd have made it work, if things had been different"

"You'd have tried, I know that. But me and you…" Seth turned to him, a sad smile gracing his lips. "You were The First. First love, first everything…I am grateful to have had you this long"

"I don't deserve your words" Doug bowed his head.

"No" Seth said, laughing. "But I love you, I can't help it"

Doug smiled in spite of himself. "You're really leaving?"

Seth nodded. "I'll tell Riley when I get back"

"Will you stay a little while? Just sit with me?"

Seth turned to him. "Of course" Doug wrapped an arm around him, pulling him into his body.

Seth had no idea how long they sat there.

xxx

Ethan returned later that evening to find Doug curled up on the floor, his head in his arms.

"Doug?" He asked tentatively, reaching out towards him. "Everything okay?"

"He's leaving" Doug said, his voice hoarse.

"He broke up with you?" Ethan felt his heart lift.

"We both agreed it couldn't work" Doug wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

"Because of me?"

Doug nodded. "Mostly"

Ethan moved to sit beside him, their shoulders touching. "What does this mean then? For us?"

Doug shrugged. "I'm not sure" he grinned a little. "You still want me?"

Ethan tilted his chin to face him. "What do you think?"

He brought their lips together for the softest of kisses. Doug's hands found their way to his neck, drawing him in closer. Ethan's fingertips lingered at Doug's jaw, stroking the soft skin there. They pulled away eventually, a little breathless.

"We need to take it slow" Doug told him. Ethan nodded against his lips.

"But you'll be with me?"

"Yeah" Doug breathed. "Of course"

Ethan couldn't help himself, he pulled Doug tightly into his arms. "I love you"

"I know" Doug said, squeezing him back. "I love you too"

Ethan pulled away, still holding onto Doug. "When's he leaving?"

"Few days. I said I'd see him off"

Ethan nodded. "I'll come with you"

Doug shook his head. "Best not. You aren't exactly his favourite person…"

"Fair enough" Ethan sighed. He grinned suddenly, squeezing Doug's waist. "You gonna spend the night in my bed?"

"You don't hang about do you!"

"Can you blame me?" Ethan asked, kissing along Doug's neck and collar bone.

"Well I'll sleep in the bed with you but I think we should take it slow" Doug said sternly. "Is that alright?"

Ethan groaned against him. "I suppose"

"Take it or leave it" Doug said, eyebrows raised. Ethan sighed, rolling his eyes and tackling Doug to the ground and kissing him all over his face.

"I'll take what I can get"

Xxx

Doug stood on the pavement, hands deep in his pockets. He waited patiently for Seth to turn up. He had spoken to Riley yesterday, explaining. It was a lot for his friend to get his head around. At first he was angry but once Seth had explained it was what they both wanted, he had calmed down. Besides, it would never have been easy for him to accept his little brother and best mate being together. Now he just had to deal with his two best friends…

"Doug?" Doug turned to see Seth swaddled in bags. Riley was a few steps behind him with Bobby.

"I'll give you two a minute" he said. He squeezed Doug's shoulder on the way past.

"This is it then" Seth said with a tight smile.

"I guess so"

"You'll keep in touch?"

"Of course"

There was an awkward pause, and then Doug launched himself into Seth's arms. "Don't be a stranger, okay?" he whispered, his voice muffled by Seth's coat.

"I promise. Make sure Ethan treats you right, or I'll be after him"

Doug laughed a little against him. "I'll tell him"

"Good" Seth pulled away, wiping at his eyes. "See you around, Doug"

"See you" Doug grasped his hand one last time and then he was gone.

It was only a few moments later when Doug felt arms around his waist and a head on his shoulder.

"You okay?" Ethan whispered into his ear.

Doug nodded, wiping his eyes. "I will be" he turned in Ethan's arms, giving him a lingering kiss. "You ready for all this?"

"Definitely" Ethan said, wrapping an arm around Doug's waist and leading him back inside.


End file.
